"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I know that there is much dispute about whether or not the quote is yours. But did you end up happy? Did you? I really hope that you did. I wish that everyone would get to be happy before they died. I wish that suicide didn’t seem like a good way out to so many people, including, a month ago, me. But did you? I feel like I need to know. I looked it up. You were famous, admired, called a genius. You were part of the most popular band, in common, opinion of the time. But if the quote is true, you didn’t want to be that. You wanted to be happy. But did you ever attain that inexplicable joy? I feel like I am out of my mind asking you this and feeling so strongly about this. But I think this is a good therapy for me, you know? I wish I could be strong and noticed like you. I wish too many things to be true. And you know what? I think that I want to be happy too. I was thinking about being a forensic pathologist. And I still might be. But who knows? I ... Read more

I see you there,

On the bed,

Next to Grace.

You are teaching her what we can’t help her to understand.

I am grateful.

I miss you every day, and though I love her,

Grace makes it harder sometimes.

She is not you.

I still have a hole in my heart.

I hope you know that I will never replace you.

I just can’t live without someone like you.

You are gone, but not lost to me.

You visit me,

you taught me.

I protected you, but you guarded me.

I love you.

I will see you again. I promise, a promise that I swear I won’t break.

We are sharing some of your things with her. I hope you don’t mind.

We did save some things, like your mitten. You loved your mitten.

Your countless demands I would not mind fulfilling now.

I am sorry that I never picked you up or helped you down the stairs

I should have, but my mind messed me up,

taught me the wrong thing,

to see germs in everything. I have always regretted that.

You know that even though she looks nothing like you,

I feel a kindred spirit in her. Thank you for everything.

I thought I could ... Read more

Yes, I know you are fictional and Laurel’s. But I still want to write a letter for you because you are one of my favorite characters, you are also very flawed and you seem like a real character to me.

Because of how you made Laurel realized a lot of things. Just like me, I have realized I wanted someone to see how broken and lonely I was. I want someone to save me from myself, but no one can. Only I could save me from me. You made me realized that.

Reading books helps me to cope with depression or maybe reading is like my black hole. I pretend to be the protagonist of the stories that I have read. Books brings me to worlds that I want to exists, it’s so much better to be fictional than live in reality.

You may not be like Augustus Waters (from TFIOS) or even Etienne St.Clair (from Anna and the French Kiss) but you are so much more, I promised.

You exists in my mind and heart, Sky.

I know you are disappointed.

I was never a good daughter to mom and dad, especially to mom. I am selfish, a good-for-nothing grand child, and a complete brat who always gets what she wants. I think I failed my practical research subject, I’m not really sure since I haven’t seen my grades. But I know, I failed. All because of my damn selfish pride, not cooperating to my group mates, and I fucking romanticized depression. I hate myself and I hope I will rot in hell for all the stupid things that I have done. I deserved this, I deserved the loneliness that I feel right now, no one to call, no one to talk about all my problems.

Also the reason why I’m here writing a letter to you, to say that I’m sorry. I am such a disappointment to the family, and please tell God that I am sorry too. For all the sins and just for existing. I am sorry that I exist, I know I don’t deserve everything that I have in my life right now.

I do not deserve forgiveness, my mom, my dad, and even my brother. I want to stop ruining all ... Read more

Oi. Se passaram um pouco mais de dois meses e você continua a vir na minha mente todos os dias desde então. A dor de sempre está sendo substituída pela saudade, pelas lembranças e pelo desejo de ter você aqui. Acredito que isso não irá passar, então, estou tentando manter tudo organizado para que não me esqueça de quem você foi. Contei de nós e de você para a T., assim ela também ira saber do meu amor por você, espero que não se importe, menino maroto. Aliás, a T. foi uma das minhas companhias para a melhor viagem da minha vida. Eu me senti viva como poucas vezes antes. Cantei alto, ri sem parar, bebi muita água, vi minha banda favorita e conheci uma pessoa muito importante para mim, que me considera importante também. Tive meus momentos de quebra também, mas isso é só detalhe. Teve um discurso muito bonito e pensei em você, ainda mais que o normal, você deve imaginar sobre o que era. Não entendo como isso aconteceu, mas saiba que estou trabalhando para que isso não aconteça em outras familias, pois é devastador e vai sempre existir uma interrogação (?) nesse acontecido. Ah, deixa eu falar que ... Read more

Hii!! It’s a new year. Grandpa, I’m going to college this year! With my desired course. If you were here, you would be so proud of me. I passed my examinations. Hard work does pays off, grandpa. I’m so excited to tell you that You have a great grandson now! Are you happy? I’m sure you are. I’m excited to see this child grow! But I am really anxious to start college. But I know you would tell me it will be okay if you were still here. Sometimes, during dinner, my family would talk about you and grandma. We all miss you, a lot. 3 of your grandchildren are getting a new home for themselves. Time goes by fast huh? I feel like it’s only yesterday that I was 5 years old. Okay, that’s all for now. I love you and grandma. Hope you are doing well up there!

Hii!! It’s a new year. Grandpa, I’m going to college this year! With my desired course. If you were here, you would be so proud of me. I passed my examinations. Hard work does pays off, grandpa. I’m so excited to tell you that You have a great grandson now! Are you happy? I’m sure you are. I’m excited to see this child grow! But I am really anxious to start college. But I know you would tell me it will be okay if you were still here. Sometimes, during dinner, my family would talk about you and grandma. We all miss you, a lot. 3 of your grandchildren are getting a new home for themselves. Time goes by fast huh? I feel like it’s only yesterday that I was 5 years old. Okay, that’s all for now. I love you and grandma. Hope you are doing well up there!

It’s been almost a year now, S. You’re gone and nothing can fill the gap you left. Still, I fall asleep crying and I wake up crying. Somedays it’s ok and it doesn’t hurt that much. But somedays, I just want to curl up in my bed and cry until the tears’re no more to run. I want to listen to the songs we shared, those years ago when we met and lived together for some months. I never felt your lips touch mine. Yet I miss your taste. I never told you what I really felt. Yet I repeat it in my head over and over. Your curly blonde hair. Your pale blue eyes. Your smile. This freaky look you always got, the mischief in your voice when we were about to do something really fun. I miss all of it. I miss you. A lot. You know, I love you. With every piece of my heart. I wish I had told you this. I don’t think it would habe done any difference, but you would have known it, after all. You were walking in front of a train and it hit you and you’re mind was gone forever though they kept your body alive a few days. They said it was suicide. At ... Read more

I would say that I miss you, but you taught me not to lie to people. If I am being honesty I don’t think I will ever miss you. Yes you gave me some very valuable lessons, most of which I will pass on. But not all. I won’t pass on how you disciplined me, I won’t pass on how you hid me from the world. Like I was embarrassing. Most importantly i won’t pass on ow you made me feel. I never felt strong, or beautiful. I never felt skinny, or like my skin was my own. You told me I was fat and stupid. Ugly and weak. I never feel like the people who tell me I am beautiful are telling the truth. I won’t miss the way I would flinch or tense up when you moved. I won’t miss never having roots because my world was ALWAYS around you. You are still my world. I do love you but you will never be forgiven… at least not right now. You made me feel hated because you hated yourself.

Ever since the first day I layed eyes on you I felt like I have seen the man of my dreams, so attractive and smart. I know i am just a young teenager and you are way older but I felt something, something i´ve never felt before. I can´t express my feelings to you so because it would not be a smart thing to do, you are a man and adult and I am In love With You. I literally think about you every second of the day and even just the thought of you and just hearing your name gives me chills , I´d like to think that before our time together is over as something i cannot say because we can get in trouble for multiple reasons. I like to imagine that one day we will be together and have children of our own even tho you already have two which bothers me be cause it means you have been with other women and that is okay because you are a man an adult which you can make your own decisions and I want to be one of them. Just to say one more time that I ... Read more