"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

It had be almost a month since you left us here on Friday, 13th January 2017 due to myocardium infarction or cardiac arrest. Until now, I still able to recall back your demise in my mind because I was with you until your last breath. Actually, I miss you so much as you are my only grandfather that able to live in 21st century. I love you so much as you are my idol, role model and icon in this life. I always made you happy during my childhood. Frankly speaking, I never tried to stay away from you although you were a heavy smoker because I love you as you are my only grandfather on Earth. I should end here to write this letter to you. I had happy moments with you here since my childhood. I would not regret for your demise because it is God’s will as He is the Almighty One. I let you go, Abah. Anyway, I will always remember you in my heart forever as you had been a sunshine in my life. Sleep tight and take care Bobbi there. Play with him to make yourself happy there. See you again in afterlife once ... Read more

2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, and finally 2017. In August it’ll be six years since you’ve been gone. I have to admit, losing you wasn’t easy. Losing someone isn’t easy at all. I hated you for leaving and I often blamed you for leaving for two years. But there were times where I blamed myself. I often wondered if I had just sent that poster made out of tissue paper that says “get well soon” then maybe I wouldn’t have lost you. Or maybe if I had just sneaked in to the car and went to you to be there for you, then maybe you would’ve lived. In November, we’ll be 16, at least you could’ve been sixteen. Lucky you. I’m doing all the aging and growing and dealing with shit, and you’re in a vault in a columbarium just sitting there in a marble jar being dead. It hurts waking up in the morning not seeing you there in our mom’s arms or on the other side. It hurts knowing that we wouldn’t be taking turns on who would sleep with mom next every night. 72 months, 31285

It’s been 4 years since I’ve seen you’re amazing smile and heard you’re amazing laugh. You’ve missed so much in my life, my first kiss, me going to junior high school and so much more. I didn’t get to say goodbye to you, it eats away at me. I feel as if I let you down by not seeing you before you died. It’s been very hard without you helping me through everything. I still can’t talk about you without crying. I don’t think about you being sick I think about you being funny and you’re contagious laugh. I got your laugh. I’m glad I did,its something that can light up any room. I miss you, loves ya sista

It’s been 4 years since I’ve seen you’re amazing smile and heard you’re amazing laugh. You’ve missed so much in my life, my first kiss, me going to junior high school and so much more. I didn’t get to say goodbye to you, it eats away at me. I feel as if I let you down by not seeing you before you died. It’s been very hard without you helping me through everything. I still can’t talk about you without crying. I don’t think about you being sick I think about you being funny and you’re contagious laugh. I got your laugh. I’m glad I did,its something that can light up any room. I miss you, loves ya sista

We moved into your house. It’s weird being here, after two years even, and you not greeting me at the door making jokes about some random thing I Wil never understand. Things remind me of you around here, such as the beat up chair in the living room and the music that still blasts out of the barn. I don’t know when that old radio is going to stop kicking, but it has lasted a long time. You’ve missed a lot of firsts in my life. First kiss, first date, first time behind the wheel. You don’t get to threaten any of my boyfriends like you did to the guys that mom brought home. Uncle Rick does though. Mom remarried, I cried at the wedding. At least you don’t get to tease me over that like Rick. Brayden is about to graduate high school. It is stressful for both him and Mom, because she isn’t ready for either of us to leave the nest. I miss you, I wasn’t ready for you to leave this nest of yours. If only you hadn’t been so stubborn and would have gone to the doctor when you first started having symptoms instead of ... Read more

Hola, (pequeño yo), ha pasado mucho tiempo desde la última ves que me ponía a pensar en ti, hoy termine de leer este libro maravilloso (cartas de amor a los muertos) y comprendí que, apesar de todos los malos ratos que hemos pasado en tan poco tiempo, siempre hay una nueva experiencia que nos alegrará en los momentos más difíciles, recordé todos los sueños que teníamos y lo que deseábamos hacer cuando fuéramos adolescentes , y aunque esas expectativas no se cumplieron quiero que sepas que no voy a dejar de luchar por nuestro pequeño sueño, espero que donde quiera que te encuentres, estés orgullosa de ambas porque donde sea que estés “llevo conmigo tu corazón, (lo llevo en mi corazón).”

It’s been 21 years since you’ve passed. Every year I think to myself, what could’ve been if you were here with us all. I used to think if you ever knew of my existence. You left before I entered the world. Could you have not stayed longer? Could you have not begged the deities to let you stay just a little while longer?

All these years on that day, my sister would cry missing you, thinking about you. I never knew what it was like, to miss a grandfather. Yet in the recent years, my heart aches on that day every year. I cannot control the tears streaming down my face. I miss you grandfather. Is it even possible to miss someone I’ve never met? I guess it is. I cry thinking about the pain you’d gone through whilst alive, and it hurts to this day that I was never able to hug you or hear your voice, even once.

I hope you’re happy up there. Or wherever you are now. I miss you, very much.

I have so much to say and I don’t really know how to say it. I hate you a lot of days, almost most. But then some days, like tonight I don’t hate you as much. I read this book, and something really stuck with me. The narrator says when she see’s her mother, after a year apart, that it feels like there is a “canyon” in between them. I just stopped when I read that. How someone could put into words what I’ve been feeling for the past six years so perfectly I couldn’t believe. Reading this in sent me into heaving cries for you. How I could still miss you so much, when in all actuality you are still here. You aren’t dead, you aren’t miles and miles away, in fact you still live in the same town. But for some reason, you have never been further away from me. Don’t you think it’s crazy that I’m almost done with high school and you’ve never been to my school, or seen me with my friends waiting to be picked up? Do you ever think about that? Does it make you sad? Sometimes I wonder if the way ... Read more

Querido Alguém, os dias vem sendo difíceis para mim e eu sei que para você os dias também não facilitaram. Estou passando por um bloqueio artístico por um tempo e essa carta que eu te escrevo agora é a primeira coisa que eu consigo escrever sem apagar tudo na sexta palavra. Isso é bom, quer dizer, eu adoro escrever e conseguir passar todos os meus sentimentos e minhas ideias para um papel ou uma pasta no computador e/ou celular é gratificante para mim. Escrever faz parte de quem eu sou e por muito tempo eu nem mesmo sabia quem eu sou, agora sei, pelo menos um pouco de mim. Quando não consigo escrever sinto-me morta e vazia, como se só restasse o meu corpo e minha alma estivesse se esvaindo, isso dói. Querido, eu não sei de onde você veio e nem quando você foi, mas eu sei que não está tão longe assim. Acredito que a morte é apenas mais uma fase da vida, essa visão transcendental vem me consolando por muito tempo, nosso corpo humano morre, mas nossas almas continuam pairando pelo o universo, nos recebendo com o primeiro raio de sol do dia e nos dando um “até logo” ... Read more

Querido Alguém, os dias vem sendo difíceis para mim e eu sei que para você os dias também não facilitaram. Estou passando por um bloqueio artístico por um tempo e essa carta que eu te escrevo agora é a primeira coisa que eu consigo escrever sem apagar tudo na sexta palavra. Isso é bom, quer dizer, eu adoro escrever e conseguir passar todos os meus sentimentos e minhas ideias para um papel ou uma pasta no computador e/ou celular é gratificante para mim. Escrever faz parte de quem eu sou e por muito tempo eu nem mesmo sabia quem eu sou, agora sei, pelo menos um pouco de mim. Quando não consigo escrever sinto-me morta e vazia, como se só restasse o meu corpo e minha alma estivesse se esvaindo, isso dói. Querido, eu não sei de onde você veio e nem quando você foi, mas eu sei que não está tão longe assim. Acredito que a morte é apenas mais uma fase da vida, essa visão transcendental vem me consolando por muito tempo, nosso corpo humano morre, mas nossas almas continuam pairando pelo o universo, nos recebendo com o primeiro raio de sol do dia e nos dando um “até logo” ... Read more