"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

It’s been almost four years since you left. It’s been hard. I miss having your around, you who comforted me every time my parents fought, you who kept convincing Dad to stop cheating on Mom because you loved us so much. You who I’d hug every time you went to your sister’s house next door to ours. The one person who loved me more than anyone did.

Ever since you died, my family fell apart. Dad had no one to convince him anymore so he left us. I was so heartbroken at first, because I used to have such a beautiful family. But then I realized I didn’t like him anymore. He left us. He wasn’t gonna come back. I hate him for that. And sometimes I feel I hate you a little bit, too. I mean, I know you didn’t mean to go. I think you were just as shocked as we were. But sometimes I think, well what if you fought harder? Maybe you would still be here. Maybe I’d still have a grandpa. A shoulder to cry on.

If I had known what was going to happen, I would have stayed. I would have told you to drink ... Read more

So much has changed over the few years you’ve been gone. This whole pandemic called covid-19 has changed everyone’s life and left me with half an 8th grade year and a freshman year with masks on. No one would’ve ever predicted what happened, everyone was basically locked inside for over a year. It was pretty upsetting early on because part of the family didn’t know they had caught it, but everything’s alright now. I got my temps a couple months ago and i’m nearly old enough to get my licence. Kyle just turned 14 and were celebrating his birthday on halloween this year. He’s grown a bit and nearly 70 pounds, but still small. Thankfully, we haven’t had to make any trips to the emergency room for him in the past few years, from what I can remember. I’ve still kept playing soccer and this year and started varsity for my highschool team. We had a rough season with a ton of injuries but i’ve gotten a lot better and am starting to actually enjoy it again. I have so many cousins now its insane! I don’t think you’ve met Uncle Rich’s daughter Lydia or Aunt T’s daughter Cassidy. I ... Read more

I just want to start by saying I miss you. We all miss you. I can tell Dad still doesn’t like talking about you being gone. I know you only died earlier this year but I think you were gone a long time ago. You just weren’t you. I think Dad feels the same way but it’s still hard. You were such a fun personality. You made jokes, played pranks, and had fun. You always had a smile and enjoyed all the little things. I think that is why your food always tasted so good. You knew how important the little details were. No matter what time it was or what day you always made sure we had full, delicious meals. You were always caring. Every morning I was met with an egg sandwich. Every lunch I had plenty of snacks and treats for me and my friends to share. Every dinner everyone had more than enough delicious food and I never had a meal that I didn’t enjoy. That had to be tiring. But you did it anyways. I think you just enjoyed making people smile. You cared so much about others, but you were still shy. You did ... Read more

Hey, how’s the afterlife? You watching from up there? I hope your getting a good show! But if you are watching telling you how everyone is doing would be counterproductive, since you’ve seen it all. I can’t believe it’s been what? Five almost six years? Jeez how time flies. I miss you, everyone does. I honestly don’t know what to say. How to express how much we all miss you. Time seems to have mended most of the wounds we gained on your passing. Nobody really talks about you here. Even though it’s been a few years we still hurt from your passing. I know it wasn’t by choice, and how you tried your best. But it still hurts. I don’t think any of us will ever forget you, or the pain of your passing. But that’s good, makes our memory of you stronger. I don’t think I’ve ever been so sappy with a person, you know, spilling my guts to them. Well, maybe my girlfriend but keep it a secret okay? I’m sure your wondering how the ground perspective of everything is, so. Your family is doing fine. And mine have finally ended the hostile relationship with ... Read more

I am writing this letter to let you know how much my family and I still miss you. We think about you every day and we still love you very much. We will always remember you for your amazing qualities. Like how you were the kindest person we knew. You always tried to help others, and you always gave me the best advice. You were always there for us when we needed you and we will forever be grateful for that. I think that we were there for you too. The night you passed away at the hospital we were all there. We were told that you’d be ok but sadly that was not the case. Once we heard the code blue we were all in great shock. Once the doctor told us the news we all cried, though we cried we knew you were in a better place. After your passing, it took some time to get used to not being with us at family events. Despite you not being there in person we know you were watching over us. This may sound silly, but I believe you were at the Reds game with us. I think this because ... Read more

I am writing this letter to let you know how much my family and I still miss you. We think about you every day and we still love you very much. We will always remember you for your amazing qualities. Like how you were the kindest person we knew. You always tried to help others, and you always gave me the best advice. You were always there for us when we needed you and we will forever be grateful for that. I think that we were there for you too. The night you passed away at the hospital we were all there. We were told that you’d be ok but sadly that was not the case. Once we heard the code blue we were all in great shock. Once the doctor told us the news we all cried, though we cried we knew you were in a better place. After your passing, it took some time to get used to not being with us at family events. Despite you not being there in person we know you were watching over us. This may sound silly, but I believe you were at the Reds game with us. I think this because ... Read more

How’s it going? That’s a stupid question. You can’t answer me. Come to think of it, you can’t actually respond to this letter at all. That’s a little eerie, but I still wanted to give you my thoughts I’ve had held for you for years. I’ll let you in on how life is going with your family. Brittany got married to my dad on December 14, 2019. And she now shares a birthday with her newest baby boy, Howard Craig Dickten. Allyse had another baby girl, Kya. She was born in late July. I’m sorry I don’t know the exact date. Morgan got married to Kyle on June 19th, 2019. It was a beautiful wedding that held a spot for you, as well as a toast. Zane cried hard for you and was comforted by my dad, who has regrets concerning you; wishing he’d said more to you. As for me, I’m in high school now- a sophomore.

I haven’t seen you in 2 years.

I wish that you and I had the opportunity to get closer. There was so much I wanted to learn from you. I wanted you to teach me to play guitar, to drive the gator, to speak ... Read more

Querido abuelito, realmente te extraño mucho aunque no lo viera fuiste una de las personas mas importantes en mi corazón, y no me di cuenta de eso hasta que te fuiste el ultimo momento que te vi sabia que algo iba a pasar lo notaba en tus hermosos ojos azules y arrugados, se veían como si estuvieran contemplando todo a su alrededor , quiero volver el tiempo atrás y apreciarte como debí hablar mas contigo hacerte preguntas hasta hartarte, pero sangre corre por mis venas así que no puedo hacerlo, siento que no fui suficiente cuando estabas aquí siento que no demostré el amor y curiosidad que sentía por ti, fuiste la primera persona muy importante para mi que se fue y eso me dejo muchas enseñanzas, ahora se como valorar a una persona antes de que llegue su tiempo.

GRACIAS ABUELITO.

Long time no see Grandma how are you? I know you won’t respond to this but wherever you are I hope you can see me now. We all really miss you, especially mom. She tries to be strong and I know you had your differences but she really loves you. I want to apologize for taking you for granted. I tried to grow up too fast, I thought I was too cool to hang out with my grandma and how I always hated your “worrier” calls. I might have hated them back then but I would give anything to just hear your voice again. I wouldn’t even care if you called me 10 times a day. It’s raining today and I’m thinking about you. I missed our rainy day movie days where we would watch a silly cartoon movie and drink chocolate milk. I miss your giant blue couch where we could both lay down comfortably with room to spare. I even miss when you used to chase me around with your false teeth even if it was gross. No matter where I go I think of you. You moved around so many times in my lifetime that I usually ... Read more

Ojalá hubiera alcanzado a buscarte antes, ojalá tu crianza hubiera sido diferente para que la mía también lo fuera, ojalá te hubiera dado un último abrazo, ojala hubiera sido todo diferente aunque pareciera que todo estaba destinado a ser como fue. Se que algún día nos encontraremos y conversaremos, también nos vamos a perdonar. Debes saber que siempre te quise.