"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Hey, how’s the afterlife? You watching from up there? I hope your getting a good show! But if you are watching telling you how everyone is doing would be counterproductive, since you’ve seen it all. I can’t believe it’s been what? Five almost six years? Jeez how time flies. I miss you, everyone does. I honestly don’t know what to say. How to express how much we all miss you. Time seems to have mended most of the wounds we gained on your passing. Nobody really talks about you here. Even though it’s been a few years we still hurt from your passing. I know it wasn’t by choice, and how you tried your best. But it still hurts. I don’t think any of us will ever forget you, or the pain of your passing. But that’s good, makes our memory of you stronger. I don’t think I’ve ever been so sappy with a person, you know, spilling my guts to them. Well, maybe my girlfriend but keep it a secret okay? I’m sure your wondering how the ground perspective of everything is, so. Your family is doing fine. And mine have finally ended the hostile relationship with ... Read more

I am writing this letter to let you know how much my family and I still miss you. We think about you every day and we still love you very much. We will always remember you for your amazing qualities. Like how you were the kindest person we knew. You always tried to help others, and you always gave me the best advice. You were always there for us when we needed you and we will forever be grateful for that. I think that we were there for you too. The night you passed away at the hospital we were all there. We were told that you’d be ok but sadly that was not the case. Once we heard the code blue we were all in great shock. Once the doctor told us the news we all cried, though we cried we knew you were in a better place. After your passing, it took some time to get used to not being with us at family events. Despite you not being there in person we know you were watching over us. This may sound silly, but I believe you were at the Reds game with us. I think this because ... Read more

I am writing this letter to let you know how much my family and I still miss you. We think about you every day and we still love you very much. We will always remember you for your amazing qualities. Like how you were the kindest person we knew. You always tried to help others, and you always gave me the best advice. You were always there for us when we needed you and we will forever be grateful for that. I think that we were there for you too. The night you passed away at the hospital we were all there. We were told that you’d be ok but sadly that was not the case. Once we heard the code blue we were all in great shock. Once the doctor told us the news we all cried, though we cried we knew you were in a better place. After your passing, it took some time to get used to not being with us at family events. Despite you not being there in person we know you were watching over us. This may sound silly, but I believe you were at the Reds game with us. I think this because ... Read more

How’s it going? That’s a stupid question. You can’t answer me. Come to think of it, you can’t actually respond to this letter at all. That’s a little eerie, but I still wanted to give you my thoughts I’ve had held for you for years. I’ll let you in on how life is going with your family. Brittany got married to my dad on December 14, 2019. And she now shares a birthday with her newest baby boy, Howard Craig Dickten. Allyse had another baby girl, Kya. She was born in late July. I’m sorry I don’t know the exact date. Morgan got married to Kyle on June 19th, 2019. It was a beautiful wedding that held a spot for you, as well as a toast. Zane cried hard for you and was comforted by my dad, who has regrets concerning you; wishing he’d said more to you. As for me, I’m in high school now- a sophomore.

I haven’t seen you in 2 years.

I wish that you and I had the opportunity to get closer. There was so much I wanted to learn from you. I wanted you to teach me to play guitar, to drive the gator, to speak ... Read more

Querido abuelito, realmente te extraño mucho aunque no lo viera fuiste una de las personas mas importantes en mi corazón, y no me di cuenta de eso hasta que te fuiste el ultimo momento que te vi sabia que algo iba a pasar lo notaba en tus hermosos ojos azules y arrugados, se veían como si estuvieran contemplando todo a su alrededor , quiero volver el tiempo atrás y apreciarte como debí hablar mas contigo hacerte preguntas hasta hartarte, pero sangre corre por mis venas así que no puedo hacerlo, siento que no fui suficiente cuando estabas aquí siento que no demostré el amor y curiosidad que sentía por ti, fuiste la primera persona muy importante para mi que se fue y eso me dejo muchas enseñanzas, ahora se como valorar a una persona antes de que llegue su tiempo.

GRACIAS ABUELITO.

Long time no see Grandma how are you? I know you won’t respond to this but wherever you are I hope you can see me now. We all really miss you, especially mom. She tries to be strong and I know you had your differences but she really loves you. I want to apologize for taking you for granted. I tried to grow up too fast, I thought I was too cool to hang out with my grandma and how I always hated your “worrier” calls. I might have hated them back then but I would give anything to just hear your voice again. I wouldn’t even care if you called me 10 times a day. It’s raining today and I’m thinking about you. I missed our rainy day movie days where we would watch a silly cartoon movie and drink chocolate milk. I miss your giant blue couch where we could both lay down comfortably with room to spare. I even miss when you used to chase me around with your false teeth even if it was gross. No matter where I go I think of you. You moved around so many times in my lifetime that I usually ... Read more

Ojalá hubiera alcanzado a buscarte antes, ojalá tu crianza hubiera sido diferente para que la mía también lo fuera, ojalá te hubiera dado un último abrazo, ojala hubiera sido todo diferente aunque pareciera que todo estaba destinado a ser como fue. Se que algún día nos encontraremos y conversaremos, también nos vamos a perdonar. Debes saber que siempre te quise.

te quiero pedir perdón lamento tanto no haber podido estar contigo ese día de no haber podido decirte un ultimo adiós, ha pasado un año y todavía no me lo creo aun siento que puedo ir a tu casa y encontrarte viendo el beisbol, no se que mas decir, te extraño; extraño cuando nos hablas de dios, del reino de los cielos estoy segura que ahorita estas con perico y Manuel lo único que me hace sentir mejor es que se que ya no sufres y por fin estas en paz

perdóname porque siento que no te dije las veces suficientes cuan importante eras para mi, sinceramente no se que mas decir creo que siento celos por el hecho de que mi familia tenia una conexión contigo que yo no tuve o mas bien no se si tuve ,el hecho de que ellos han soñado contigo y yo no me hace sentir mal porque yo no te he podido volver a ver, la ultima vez que te vi fue cuando estábamos en el balcón viendo a la carroza transportar tu cuerpo al rancho , extrañamente ese día no me sentí mal pero ahora no se que mas hacer siento ... Read more

I love you. We all love you. Shinee, minho, taemin, and onew. I always liked your smile, your laughter, and everything about you. I know things were probably tough, but I didn’t know things were that bad. We’re sorry we couldn’t get you out of there, and we’re sorry for everything we put you through. I miss you. I listen to lonely with my buds plucked in my ears at night, crying tears streaming down my face. I loved you, and I still love you. You were a ledgend, one that outshined anyone on the planet. You not only helped me through the days I felt like I was stuck in a hole, but also on the days I felt like I couldn’t breathe. You were like a breath of fresh air that comforted everyone, but didn’t have anyone to be comforted by. You told her you would see her in 10 years but you left us 2 years ago. You left behind us, and shinee. It’s not a bad thing, but I feel so sick and terrible. I always loved your side profile, and the way you wore a hat. It looked so cool and handsome, I was always ... Read more

I am going to write a letter to you. I realize now that I should have done this long ago. There’s something I’ve been beating myself up about. I want to forgive myself, and I want to feel strong enough to believe that you are not upset with me, and that if you ever were, you have forgiven me. There are things I would change if I could go back, but that’s why people say that hindsight is 20/20.

I am not going to write the letter here. I do not want to write it here, this does not feel right for me. But I am going to write this precursor to it to let you know I will write a letter and to remind myself. I cannot promise I will write it soon but I will do it, sometime.

I love you, Memere.