"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I wish I could have gotten a chance to know you.Is it weird to miss someone who you never really gotten a chance to know? Because I do.You passed away right when you born.You never got a chance to learn how to ride a bike.You never got a chance to fall in love.You never got a chance to experience how beautiful life can be.I just wish you could have stayed but you couldn’t it was your time to go to heaven.God had a plan for you and I guess it was for you to go at that time . I used to be angry at you for leaving but it wasn’t your choice its not your fault and its not Gods fault either.You would have loved Christian your younger brother so much.You will always be in our hearts.I will always miss you.I will never forget you.I love you.

I remember when I was little and you were there sitting on the couch with you arms wide open leaning down to me. Then I would run up to you as fast as I could and give you a great big hug. I remember seeing you in the hospital bed and you just were there laying with your eyes closed. They all said that you could here us so I said to you, “Hi, grandpa I hope you feel better.” In a very soft shy voice. That night my aunt drove me home and my parents stayed till when you left us. You left your family and my dad misses you and I do too. I wrote a song for you. i bet you heard me write it too. But we all keep going and we get through it but you are always in our hearts.

It’s been years since you’ve been gone. I built a new world without you and now it’s crumbling down. I’m constantly losing to find myself. And just like written in this book, past haunts me even when I’m awake. Some things just don’t go away. They linger until you break down with fragments of memories. I truly regret the times I have taken you both for granted, for not being good enough, and for forgetting that you were growing old too as much as I do. I’d trade a day just to be with you again. Even if God will deduct that day in my own span of life, I won’t mind. I just wish you’re still here so my father won’t have to deal with pain alone. He needs you more than anyone else. And maybe it’s true that we, the living, don’t forget you, we just learn to live without you. Things would’ve been different if you’re still here, I guess. I just hope you’re fine wherever you are. I love you and will always do.

I’m amazed that it’s been almost a year since you’ve been gone. I know I don’t need to write a letter or visit your grave or anything like that to talk to you. I know I can simply talk to you from where I’m sitting right now but I read this book and it make me think of you. We don’t see your daughter anymore because your girlfriend has a new boyfriend. But she’s really beautiful and you would be so happy sitting in the hospital room when she was born. We gave Dad a picture of you for Christmas. He misses you. I miss you. Your mom died 2 days before your birthday. I’m sure she’ll be right there when you see this letter. You’re actually probably watching me type it, laughing at every typo I make. Helping me not backspace and rewrite the same things over again. Also, I hope Priscilla is in heaven with you. You were one of the only people who that dog liked, I swear. Anyways, I miss you more than anything in the world and I love you. I love you I love you I love you. For everything you’ve missed, Happy Thanksgiving, ... Read more

Hi Sis how is everything going on up there? I know we never even met before but I miss you. You maybe know about this but sometimes I pray to God so that I can meet you even if it just in a dream, even if just for a few seconds. I want to hear your voice, I want to know what your face looks like (I’m sure it would be so beautiful).

I keep wondering, would my life be completely different if you were here? If you didn’t passed away right when you were in Mom’s belly? But I know that God has His own plans. I trust Him. But sometimes, I miss you. I don’t know you and that’s why I feel so lost sometimes.

If you’re reading this, always know that all of us will never forget you. You may not always in our mind but you’re always in our heart, deeply and beautifully craved. I miss you but I know you’re always watching over me. You’re my angel.

I love you, always, forever, endlessly.

Im 30 now and its been 10 years since you’re gone. I wonder if I am even half the woman you ever wanted me to be. Im in debt but Im trying to find a better job and finally finish school, but you know all this already cause I know you are watching me from heaven. I miss you and I wish you were here to make me feel like everything is fine. All I can do is keep trying.

I think about you sometimes and I don’t feel sad anymore, because I know you are better off up in the sky among the stars. Most people love their grandparents and don’t get me wrong I love you for sure but I can never forgive you, for what you did to my mom, your daughter and your wife, grandma. You were rude and mean and no it wasn’t abuse at least not towards mom but you were scary and I don’t understand how she loved you to be honest. You hit grandma and now she is frail and vulnerable and I can’t believe you would do that. So, I’m glad that you are gone because you can no longer cause pain.

Hi, I miss you so much. I still remember when I was like three and we used to go to gigantic hippy parties where you would tie dye and smo!e weed and listen to my grandpas band play old songs by lynyrd skynard and Delbert mclinton. It was getting dark and I was spinning around and Cole asked me to ask someone to make us a fire and we would roast marshmallows and eat snores and I was SO excited and I asked my dad and members of the band but everyone was busy pitching tents and singing and stuff so I asked you. You played guitar in the band and I asked you and we went on like this cliff where we could see the whole party and started a fire just me and you and Cole and I remember you were the reason I learned to play guitar and dance and you’re the reason I’m applying to a super prestigious dance school so thank and I’m so sorry about your heart

Ever since you flew away for vacation the room has a empty presence, being a only student from E.V.C.S going to my new school I stay alone, but after 3 months of 9th grade flying solo, I get use to the feeling of being alone, and now your absents but makes me a hollow soul. You complete me or at least put concrete on the bricks of hieroglyphics about me. My new favorite motto is “you are your own best friend” and now I feel my teachers pushing me to be more social, but unlike my past life I’m not the people person I used to be, I don’t get in trouble for passing notes or talking during class, and now I find myself having the same conversations with myself over and over again. I catch a glimpse of your every single time I get, I watch you walked to school and walked back, its not that I am a stalker like your favorite book is about, but simply you are magnetizing person, also the fact I only live 3 blocks away from you. A couple days ago I saw you get into a fight with a ... Read more

Ever since you flew away for vacation the room has a empty presence, being a only student from E.V.C.S going to my new school I stay alone, but after 3 months of 9th grade flying solo, I get use to the feeling of being alone, and now your absents but makes me a hollow soul. You complete me or at least put concrete on the bricks of hieroglyphics about me. My new favorite motto is “you are your own best friend” and now I feel my teachers pushing me to be more social, but unlike my past life I’m not the people person I used to be, I don’t get in trouble for passing notes or talking during class, and now I find myself having the same conversations with myself over and over again. I catch a glimpse of your every single time I get, I watch you walked to school and walked back, its not that I am a stalker like your favorite book is about, but simply you are magnetizing person, also the fact I only live 3 blocks away from you. A couple days ago I saw you get into a fight with a ... Read more