"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

You aren’t dead but my relationship with you is. And in all honesty it should have been dead 3 years ago when I first started having a crush on you. I was the only person who trusted you with anything. But all you did was smoke weed and get drunk everyday of your life. I loved you, actually I still do love you. I always will, but you’ve put me through way to much. All you wanted me for was sex and I was stupid enough to almost fall for it, but luckily I found out you kissed Skylar. But I wanna say thanks. Thanks for helping me find out who I really am, and thanks for putting me through so much pain that I realized how little something was. But also thanks for being there for me when I needed somebody to talk to. You were a pretty good friend for the first 2 years. But now you go to a completely different school and no longer live near me. I’m gonna miss you messing with me, but I’ve got to get over you. But if by any chance you ever read this and somehow find a way to ... Read more

You aren’t dead but my relationship with you is. And in all honesty it should have been dead 3 years ago when I first started having a crush on you. I was the only person who trusted you with anything. But all you did was smoke weed and get drunk everyday of your life. I loved you, actually I still do love you. I always will, but you’ve put me through way to much. All you wanted me for was sex and I was stupid enough to almost fall for it, but luckily I found out you kissed Skylar. But I wanna say thanks. Thanks for helping me find out who I really am, and thanks for putting me through so much pain that I realized how little something was. But also thanks for being there for me when I needed somebody to talk to. You were a pretty good friend for the first 2 years. But now you go to a completely different school and no longer live near me. I’m gonna miss you messing with me, but I’ve got to get over you. But if by any chance you ever read this and somehow find a way to ... Read more

I feel like I’ve let the world down. People at school always say I never make mistakes, but truth is I’m only human. Why am I thought to be better than anyone else? I feel that since I’m held to higher expectations by my teachers, parents, or friends, I can’t express myself. People don’t understand that listening to music or reading books is the only way I can be like “I feel like that, too.” In the end I hope I won’t have to go through this anymore and can just live freely.

I’m writing to you because even though you’re not dead in the book, you’re fictional, which is similar to dead just because you don’t really exist in this world but you still live in our minds, and although you didn’t really write those letters, I can’t very well write to Ava Dellaira because she is, as of November 29, 2015, alive. I just want to thank you for what you wrote. I sometimes feel a lot like you, although I don’t have a dead sibling. It’s just that I have a hard time opening up to people and I feel like no one really knows me. A quote from your letters that I feel describes me is, “And as much as I was hiding from him, I guess a part of me also always wanted Sky to see into me-to know the things that I was too scared to tell him,” (pg. 285). This next quote describes how I wish the people I care for and who care for me would be like. “The line at the end that says, ‘Nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands’ makes perfect sense to me. It means they can go anywhere ... Read more

When you left me this year I didn’t know what to do or say. All I wanted to do was stay in my room and just cry. I miss you so much, more than you’ll ever know. I still feel your presence sometimes when I’m home alone or even when I’m just eating dinner with the rest of the family. I would like to say I’m over it, but I have learned that’s not how it goes when it comes to death. It’s not like a break-up when you mope around your house and look at old photos of you guys together and then 2 months later you’re burning the photos and saying to yourself “I’m totally over it.” But when it comes to death you don’t learn how to get over it because there is no getting over. It doesn’t exit. But I can say I’ve found a way to stay connected to you. And that’s how I get through the day without having a breakdown. But do I still cry during the day and wish you were here? Yeah of course. But I know that you are safe and sound in heaven. 🙂

Maybe been too long since the last time we met, your death was fatal to me, i was only six years, you were my first pet, my first real friend, you had the honor of calling as my favorite princess (the little mermaid) . Perhaps you were not my first near death case, but it was the first time i take the weight of death, that one day these with us and the other just…will not be. You were the friend anyone could have improved.

Simply captivating.

Okay, so this isn’t really a SOMEONE per say, but a dog. He passed away June 24 2015. He was my first dog. Not only were you my Best Friend, but you were that one Friend I could always confide in, Bruno. I know you can’t read but I know you can understand me. I remember all the times we spent together, I remember the last movie I watched with you. It was Into The Woods. I remember you climbed onto the couch and rested your head on my knee. I loved and will always love you, Bruno. I have a necklace dedicated to you, so every June, I told myself to wear for you. Thank you for being there for me, for playing with me, for sitting with me when I was upset or lonely. Thank you, Bruno.

I love you, even if you don’t know me as an individual but as a fan of your videos, I hope you’re happy in Heaven with God, and I hope you I can talk to you in my dreams, even if you only show up once. Always remember that I will never get over you as an Idol, a crush. Rest in piece my baked potato. 😢😍💞💕

Friday was the 11th anniversary of your death. Me and mom bought a balloon and went to the park and released it for you. I watched it until I couldn’t see it anymore, and all I could think about was that it’s not fair that I only got eight years with you, it’s not fair that you were taken away from me by a heart attack, it’s not fair that they couldn’t save you, and it’s not fair that I didn’t get to say goodbye. I miss you so much every day, and I’m sorry that I didn’t get to tell you I loved you that morning. I’ve had a hard time since you’ve been gone. I haven’t done so well. I wish you were here to help me. I wish we could go camping together again, me and you and mom. I wish we could go see the ocean again and stand on the edge of the world together. This place doesn’t feel like home, because home was where you were and now you’re gone. You taught me to be myself, you taught me to fight for myself and for what I believe in, and I will carve out ... Read more