"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I never knew you because you passed before I was born but I know you were an amazing person. I wish cancer wouldn’t of taken you so soon, I wish I was born to at least say goodbye . My sisters miss you a lot to and always tell me what an amazing person you were. I knew you were such a strong fighter and I now you watch over me everyday. School has been really stressful lately but I’m pulling through. I really miss you a lot and I want you to know that I think about you everyday. I love you!

I’m not good with words but you were excellent. You make Mondays seem pleasant enough for me to set my alarm at 4am just so I could pack us breakfast. My dream was always inconstant and yours was a mystery. One day I wanted to be a speech therapist, the next maybe a teacher but what I know is that I always wanted to be by your side. That day, on 11th of March, your name was written on the Sunday newspaper along with your sister. I no longer get excited for Mondays. I no longer have dreams nor ambitions, until now I live with guilt and needed my own help that I wanted to offer others to. Maybe I need help, maybe I don’t. Maybe you’re not gone, maybe you’re just waiting for me at our usual place with Tuesday’s coffee and Monday’s gossip. I know to others your death is yesterday’s news but your name lingers with the hope that I wanted you to comeback. I’m angry, I’m so mad, so pissed you left. I hate you but I love you. Perhaps you’re still alive and I’m the one that’s buried 6 feet under. Maybe this ... Read more

I’m not good with words but you were excellent. You make Mondays seem pleasant enough for me to set my alarm at 4am just so I could pack us breakfast. My dream was always inconstant and yours was a mystery. One day I wanted to be a speech therapist, the next maybe a teacher but what I know is that I always wanted to be by your side. That day, on 11th of March, your name was written on the Sunday newspaper along with your sister. I no longer get excited for Mondays. I no longer have dreams nor ambitions, until now I live with guilt and needed my own help that I wanted to offer others to. Maybe I need help, maybe I don’t. Maybe you’re not gone, maybe you’re just waiting for me at our usual place with Tuesday’s coffee and Monday’s gossip. I know to others your death is yesterday’s news but your name lingers with the hope that I wanted you to comeback. I’m angry, I’m so mad, so pissed you left. I hate you but I love you. Perhaps your still alive and I’m the one that’s buried 6 feet under. Maybe this ... Read more

I don’t know your name but you posted your letter on the 20th October and signed as ‘the bitch you broke up with’, adressed to Drew. I don’t know if you’ll even see this but I want you to know that I can totally relate to your letter. Sometimes I just feel like I don’t quite fit in. I always have the kind of foreboding or pressure hanging over me that suddenly, at some point they’re going to realise and suddenly drop me for the next best thing. I wonder what people who have crushes on me see (not that it happens very often) and I anticipate in dread the moment when they see something better or perhaps get bored with me. I am one of thoes people who kind of live in their own world. I am quiet and creative and live alongside my mind and imagination. Not many people truly know me; the real me.

If you see this, I hope you are happier and maybe someday another ‘Drew’ will come along. I get the Not- being- able- to- get- over thing though.

Ps. If you see this – can you tell ... Read more

I was only four years old when you passed, taken away by a heart attack. My only memory of you is blurred and creased, but I’ve managed to keep it safe for nearly eighteen years. I’m standing in the living room of your prefab house, wearing light blue cotton pajamas and grinning and dancing as little kids do. “She looks like an angel,” you say, not realizing that those five words will become the only words I remember you by.

There are so many stories of you, things that I have wrapped carefully and hidden away for when I need them. My uncle says that you used to live in a house in Verona—the house started out with a bare lawn, but you loved trees so much that by the time you moved out, it had become a forest. I told him that I wished I could have known you better, and his eyes were shining when he replied, “He wanted so much to see you kids grow up.”

My relatives tell me that my father inherited so much of you. My father, who used to take us to the planetarium at Christmas to see the Seasons of Light show. Who ... Read more

You were the one person in my life that I could tell anything too. You were the best listener, and you would never judge me. My life has changed a lot ever since you passed away from lung cancer that developed into brain cancer, about one year ago. I wish that I could be talking to you right now and just sitting with you. Now I feel like I am alone, with no one to talk too. I truly believe that you are keeping me strong, because I have not even cried once since you died. I don’t even know how that is possible because I loved you more than I have ever loved anyone in my whole life. I think about you all the time, and I watch videos and look at pictures of us together, but nothing. It’s like I have no feeling because I don’t even start to get sad, or happy remembering the times we had. I’m just like a soulless rock out in the wild. I wish that is not how I was but it just is. My grandpa makes me feel bad about it, he tells me that ... Read more

I’m sorry I never got the chance to love you and hold you close at night and take the rope and chair away from you so these hearts wouldn’t be so broken. It hurts to see these people hurting and burning things in bonfires that make them upset, chopping wood with axes to get the word suicide out of their head, or smoking in attempt to cloud over the memories of you in a casket. AJ, you mother loved you, no matter who you were. You didn’t have to leave. I wish you wouldn’t have left. We are all hurting.

I remember how overprotective you are to me and my siblings when you were still here. I remember being angry with it because you’ll not let us have fun like some other kids outside you’ll always said “it’s dangerous” and deep inside I’ll hate you for that. But daddy? Now that you’re gone, when I realized how cruel the world is. I suddenly told myself. You’re right, I should have known what you said is true. I should have built walls upon myself. Especially my heart. I miss you so much, daddy. I know things will never be the same without you. I love you and I hope you’re always there watching us, protecting us like what you always do..

I love you now for a very long time, but since you’re gone, my heart aches so much, like it never did before. Please come back. I love you…

I first saw you in a park where you sat alone on the grass watching the other kids play, little 7 year old me hesitated to talk to you but eventually after a few minutes of pondering I grew up the courage to sit beside you. Now, I cant really remember all the details as to who talked first but that day was the start of our friendship which well developed into something more over the years. Everything was perfect, we were in sync together like two peas in a pod, some even said that we were made for eachother; soulmates. We were opposites but similar at the same time. We like writing but unlike me, you were always so shy to show everyone your poetry. I remember that we had a conversation about death before you died and I think that somehow you were preparing me for that day. Were you really thinking about your own death? I am angry at you and at myself. I am angry at you because you didnt tell me that you were dying. I am angry at myself because I was oblivious to the fact that your health was deteriorating; that the cancer ... Read more