"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Everyone around you thought you were a fighter, but they never seemed to see the war that went on in your head. They thought you were an angel, they said they loved you. But we both know the truth, you were stepped on countless time, you were the shoulder that everyone cried on. And now you shed no more tears. You’re a lost soul, i’m not sure whether you’re dead yet or not, but i can no longer see. I don’t know whether that’s because you left or if it’s because i don’t try hard enough to find you. But all i know is that the day we meet again, you will look at me. you will look at the destruction i have become as i try cover the scars on my arms. And finally i know that the day that we meet will be the day we’re in the same place, because at that moment we’ll both be alive through our death.

Sinto sua falta. Todos aqui sentem. Amo você, está se divertindo aí? Parou de sentir dores?

Obrigada por falar de mim pra sua mãe é bem gentil da sua parte e acho que somos amigas.

Espero ainda ser sua maninha.

Não sei se é correto lhe chamar assim, lhe chamo pelo nome todos os dias, mas não sei se você escuta.

Tento achar coragem de lhe escrever há eras, e agora, lendo sua crônica “Carlos chega ao céu” consegui essa aúdacia. Primeiro que te escrever parece algo ridículo, é como cantar ao lado da Beyonce, você sabe que será humilhado.

Mas pelo jeito que você escreve, aah, meu caro! Parece tanto comigo… temos os mesmos sentimentos, o mesmo jeito de conversar com o leitor, como se estivessemos ao lado dele, acho que é por isso que você é meu escritor preferido.

Eu te amo, Caio. Não digo isso nunca pra ninguém, mas eu e você temos algo inexplicavel. Ta, eu sei que você está rindo agora, devo parecer uma fã ridícula, mas eu te conheço e sei seus defeitos e qualidades, eu li sua alma. Sei mais que o google pode contar, mais que as reportagens sobre você diz. Sei que acredita em fadas e sei que deve admirar Bukowski e que adora anjos e observar pessoas pelas ruas. Sei que gosta de palavras, não só de seus significados, mas de como elas ficam escritas e como são pronunciadas. Sei que devia ir ... Read more

In the 5th of April of 1994 you shot yourself in the head. I don’t know why but i can’t believe that you actually did it. I mean, how could you, you had a daughter and a wife and amazing friends and a all life ahead of you, but you did it. You garbed a gun and you shot yourself in the head. And for some reason here i am 21 years latter writing to you. When I was born you ware dead for 3 years. I’m not part of the Nirvana generation, but your music has always been there for me, it has been with me in the happy and in the sad moments. Does that mean that you are kind of a guardian angel? At least you are, to me. I know that like me there are a million other people, so thank you, thank you for that. I know that even tho you killed yourself, you gave life to many other, you helped them not to do what you did. Some people come to the world with a mission or a reason, others live long lives and make no difference. Your life was short, but you left such a big mark behind you. You didn’t live ... Read more

since I read the book I started listening to your music. I started to love your music and I started to like you as a person. It is 21 years ago by now. This whole week I was wondering what you thought before you… killed yourself. I mean, you died before I was even born but it’s like I can feel a connection. I fight suicidal thoughts and I can’t stop thinking about how I could kill myself, but you really helped me, Kurt. I mean, I can’t kill myself, because I need to know what’s happening after that. On earth. With all the people I loved. And I don’t talk about their reaction of my death. I talk about that you will never see Frances as the beautiful woman she is. You will never meet her fiance. You’ll never see Dave on a foo fighters concert. I didn’t want to write this letter here, but I had to. I just can’t stand the fact that no one writes you on April 5th. Your last words on your suicide note were: “It’s better to burn out than to fade away.” But your fire still burns, Kurt.

I’m thinking about you all day today. You probably know why, right? It’s the 5th of April. A sad day. I’m also all day long on instagram reading and liking post from your fans who remembered this day and took a moment to remember you, to whrite you a tribute. I read so many of them and all were so beautiful, all were special. I think that’s why I can’t stop thinking about you..I’m amazed how many people still after 21 years remember you, miss you, wish you were still here. To how many of them you represent hope and help them through every day. Can you imagine that, Kurt? And you’re not even here. Like in real. You’re not even here, your body is not here, but yet you’re saving lives. That’s big Kurt. Some people are alive and can’t save lives. You amaze me so much you know. The depth of your soul amazes me, your personality amazes me, your being just amazes me. You are such and incredible human being. I find so much strength in you and I didn’t even meet you. I was born the year you died. But yet you mean so ... Read more

You just passed away for like one month ago . I still couldn’t believe , or in myself i don’t want to believe . I just couldn’t accept the fact that your are gone in this world . I will never see you anymore . I don’t know what the real cause of your death , i read on facebook you died with the typhoid fever , and they also said you had a mental problem . But i guess those are just rumours , or maybe if that’s true , i guess you still have a chance to get well . The doctors knows how to treat those kind of sickness , but then i don’t know what happen , i don’t know the whole story , and the real cause of your death . I just wish i was with you in your hard time , i just wish i did something to help you , but then i didn’t know that you got sick , and hospitalized . It was too late , i just got a news from your facebook that your dead , ... Read more

I remembered you when you were young , you always weak and get sick easily . You are my favorite sister actually , you were nice , and sweet , caring , and not afraid of showing your love to all of us . You left us when i was 5 years old , because you move with our grandma . I don’t know the reason why go with her , maybe because mom can’t take care of you anymore when you get sick , because she has a lot of children to take good care of , and she can’t do a thing at the same time . I’ve misses you a lot , and i’m wondering when you coming home , because i’m always waiting for you . Time flies by , but you’ll never come home yet . We moved several places already because Dad can’t find a proper job . I don’t like moving in other places , because i’m too scared of , what if you’ll come home you won’t be able to find us in our old house anymore? , i’m too ... Read more

I remembered you when you were young , you always weak and get sick easily . You are my favorite sister actually , you were nice , and sweet , caring , and not afraid of showing your love to all of us . You left us when i was 5 years old , because you move with our grandma . I don’t know the reason why go with her , maybe because mom can’t take care of you anymore when you get sick , because she has a lot of children to take good care of , and she can’t do a thing at the same time . I’ve misses you a lot , and i’m wondering when you coming home , because i’m always waiting for you . Time flies by , but you’ll never come home yet . We moved several places already because Dad can’t find a proper job . I don’t like moving in other places , because i’m too scared of , what if you’ll come home you won’t be able to find us in our old house anymore? , i’m too ... Read more

I know that you’re in a better place. I know that maybe you are a happy boy. But I’m still here, and I miss you. I really miss you. I miss you, little brother. I don’t know how to continue without you, you were my life, my reason for being here. I just want to know if you’re somewhere out there, and if you’ll be waiting out there, for me. How could you leave me this way? Now, I have anyone in this world, I need you.