"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I was a baby when you dead so I really don’t remember you but I had a dream about when I was little I saw a woman and she was trying to get me to stop crying. Now I know it was you and I know you are watching over us and I just wanted to say I love you and I can’t wait to see you when I go too.

I know you’re not here anymore, and it’s still so difficult for me, but I wish you to know that I’m growing up, yeah mom, your little daughter now is an adult. You left me when I was ten and now I’m eighteen, can you imagine how many things happened with me since you passed away? I wish you could see everything, I wish you were for me, just like when I was a children. I wish see you run in my direction when I say “mom, mom come here”. But this is just a memory. A memory that I’ll keep forever, because I love you and I will never forget you. Mom, you were, you are and you will always be, the best thing of my life and the best thing about me, I love you.

I know you have been dead for a while now. I have realised what you said about grandma. I miss the stories and the tricks that you to do, I still do not know how to do that pen trick but I am working on it. I promise that I will work it out . I think I have fallen into depression, there is a lot I have stuggled with like the bulling at 5 and then going into a operation at 10 under a year that you passed way I wish that you were still because when you left you tried to tell us that grandma had the early stages of memory loss, I wore mum come home crying and the family always in a head lock. But I think you were and still are the best think in my life.

Todo el tiempo que estuve muerta pensé en vos y en que tal vez podrías venir a levantarme, el problema es que nunca lo harías. Estoy muerta… mi conciencia se esta pudriendo y soy un ente en la realidad que me rodea. Perdón, perdón, perdón por poner en vos la presión de ser mi salvador. No creo que seas malo, maldad en un ser como vos no podría caber, solo creo que no miraste abajo donde yo estaba a tus pies, aferrándome a la idea de que un día serias solo para mi. No se por que estoy escribiendo esto acá, el libro no es particularmente emotivo para mi, solo que no tengo idea que estoy haciendo como la mayor parte del tiempo… Y hoy volví a pensar en el vídeo que esta subido en YouTube “Un punto azul pálido” y todo fue claro para mi, tan claro que me asuste… aunque pudieras no habría razón para que vengas, de cualquier manera estamos a solo unos pasos de volvernos cenizas, de volvernos huesos en un cajón. Y eso no es especial en nadie, ninguna muerte es especial, yo no soy especial… vos no sos especial. La muerte, mi querido, no nos esta esperando.

Te añoro con ... Read more

I have been thinking a lot about you guys lately…I haven’t cut or harmed myself in any way for almost 4 months now which is good. I wish you guys were still here to help me with stuff and everything in general. I just got done reading this book about 5 minutes ago and it was definitely the best book i have ever read. Anyway…uncle doug, cancer sucks dont it? yea i know but you know better then anyone that im writing too. I cant believe you were only in your 40’s…its too young. Grandma patti, im washing my hands a lot haha, but i miss you so so much. Mom and aunt kari are talking again and i know you would be happy as can be to know that. Grammie and pa, I wish i could have known you guys better i can only remember a few things since you both passed away when i was so young…I do remember pa spilling soup on me and grammie helping with the burns, and how you used to call me joey and i would get mad saying im not a boy, and how you would take teddy from me and hide ... Read more

I have been thinking a lot about you guys lately…I haven’t cut or harmed myself in any way for almost 4 months now which is good. I wish you guys were still here to help me with stuff and everything in general. I just got done reading this book about 5 minutes ago and it was definitely the best book i have ever read. Anyway…uncle doug, cancer sucks dont it? yea i know but you know better then anyone that im writing too. I cant believe you were only in your 40’s…its too young. Grandma patti, im washing my hands a lot haha, but i miss you so so much. Mom and aunt kari are talking again and i know you would be happy as can be to know that. Grammie and pa, I wish i could have known you guys better i can only remember a few things since you both passed away when i was so young…I do remember pa spilling soup on me and grammie helping with the burns, and how you used to call me joey and i would get mad saying im not a boy, and how you would take teddy from me and hide ... Read more

Eu nunca tive tanto carinho por alguém antes. A minha forma de materializar você é tão real, e eu espero manter você vivo em mim (e comigo), pra sempre. Você ensinou muito sobre o que é ser leal, verdadeiro, líder. Você é o tipo de amigo que qualquer pessoa gostaria de ter. Um ídolo, um herói. Sei que seu céu é mais infinito que o de outros, pois você merece todo um paraíso. Ultimamente, antes de tomar decisões, tenho me perguntado: “O que o Newt faria?”, pois você sempre fez a coisa certa. Prometo aproveitar cada oportunidade que tiver ao lado de pessoas como você, pois a vida não nos apresenta pessoas assim há todo momento. Você é o único anjo no qual acredito. Te amarei de Janeiro à Janeiro, até o mundo acabar.

I never really noticed your music, until a friend of mine who told me to listen to you, really; I was so surprised when I read that you died a young age, and how you had a beautiful daughter to whom you were the greatest father. I just want you to know that, wherever you are, we still haven’t forgotten about you.

I’ve learned a lot from the lyrics that you once wrote on a sheet of paper, and now inside my head bouncing on and off coming to the reality of everything we all are.

I ALSO continued reading this book because of you, and other artist.

Today is my birthday. I remember the last birthday when you were still here. How you huged me after you said your wishes. We didn’t hug a lot, never actualy. But on my birhtday you always gave me a hug and it ment a lot to me. I miss this hug now, today. Everything is so empty and I miss you so. I try to feel you, like everyone says about the people that pass away and are dare to them – that they feel their presence and that they feel them watching over them. I don’t feel that and when I’m lonely I try to feel you and be sure that you take care of me, but I don’t feel that and it hurts so bad. I feel like you left me but I need you to be here for me. It hurts so bad that you decided to leave this planet and I feel so alone, everything feels so empty, like you left a hole in my universe. I want to know that you take care of me, feel like you are still here in a way.

”Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday ... Read more

I have never met

yo u yet I feel like I know you. You were a total hippy just like me. You were only 19 ween you died. I want to meet you. I just want to see your face. I have read the letters you sent your mother. They were so sweet and caring. Everyone says you could of been saved but did you really want to get saved. I have always wounder that. You gave me only one thing before you left fear of water. You died in the water and no I have a fear of it . I love you.

Love, Janie Tyree