"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Hi, I hope you are doing well up there. How am I? I’m just hanging in there. I feel very empty and sad(?) this month, I have been trying to figure out why am I feeling like this. I know you don’t know this, but I suck at feelings. Sometimes, I have difficulty understanding my own feelings, but its weird because I can understand other people’s feelings. Maybe I’m just weird, I don’t know haha. Anyways! Even though, I feel like shit this month, all is kind of good, everyone else is doing alright. I had a lot of fun last month though, I went to a trip with mom and sister and I managed to hang out with my friends. You know, sometimes I wish you were still here so I can buy your souvenirs and share all the pictures that we took. But it’s okay, I accepted fate. School is starting real soon, so I have to prepare myself physically and mentally. Ugh. I’ll try not to be too whiney ok? That’s all, I love you.

It’s been almost 5yrs. since you left us. It is still hard to accept the fact that you are gone and knowing that we will do things without you. But it’s okay now for us now because we know that we can’t bring back the past especially someone’s life taken by GOD. I’m sorry that for almost one year I’ve never been able to visit your tomb. It’s just that I don’t have time now because of my work. But I am not forgetting to pray for your soul. I may not able to visit your tomb but It’s more important that I always praying for the peace of your soul and also for the guidance. Brother, i didn’t had the chance to say this to you while you are living, while you are with us, I LOVE YOU and that will never change even your not with us now physically. I know you can feel it anf we can feel your precense too with your love. Our parents are fine. They now on their 38th wedding anniversary. We just celebrated it yesterday. It’s BER months now here. We will miss you again this coming Christmas and New Year’s Eve ... Read more

I didn’t lived and shared enough moments with you and I feel like a horrible person everytime I think of that. I didn’t told enough times how much I love you and appreciated your company. I am so sorry. I hope that when I look to the sky and think of you and what happened you can forgive me. I love you. And you will always be my favourite member of the family. I wish you the best, there, in the top of the sky, in the high mountains or in the depest part of the sea.

Tus hijas siempre te amaron.

Yours, Tío Jorje, donde quiera que estés.

it’s been two years and i still can’t believe your gone. sometimes when i think of you, i forget that you’re gone. it was around halloween when you first went into the hospital. mom was sad because halloween was your favorite and it was possible that it was your last. that thought sat in the back of our minds and it became more real as you got worse. i tried not to cry in front of you because i didn’t want to cause you any more pain. i remember when granma woke us up and told us you had passed. i was in shock. i miss you so much. as halloween gets closer, we think about you. thank you for all the dimes. i miss you. and i love you.

I don’t know what’s making me write you this. I didn’t know you. But I knew your little brother, Joe. He was one of my best friends. I remember finding out that you had tried to kill yourself. I was sitting in the back of my history class with my two friends. People had been sad all morning but I didn’t know what was going on. Then, Haley showed me a facebook post that her mom had posted and everything made sense. It hit me why Joe hadn’t been at school. Apparently, that Wednesday, 2 days earlier, your dad had found yourself hanging from your bunk bed, your belt around your neck. He called 911 and you were taken to the hospital. By the time I found all of this out, on Friday, you had been on life support for 2 days. They didn’t know if you would wake up. I didn’t know what to do so I walked around our neighborhood, earbuds in my ears, volume turned all the way up, listening to the same 2 songs over and over again. Joe texted me and told me the next day that you weren’t going to wake up. I was devastated. Your family ... Read more

I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the sister you needed me to be, and I’m sorry if you ever thought that I didn’t love you. If I could take back all of the hurtful heat of moment things I’d said, I would. I had a dream yesterday, and it wasn’t a dream filled with magic or a happy ending. It was just a dream about you and I, sitting and bickering over candy. I don’t know what hurt the most about it though. Was it waking up and realizing I’d had a good dream with you, or waking up and realizing that it was a lie because you’re gone? You’re gone and you’re never coming back. I don’t think I have it in me though to ask for you to come back, not to a world where you’d be in pain. I’d like to think life would be easier if I forgot you all together. Forgot the pain of losing you, the pain of having to say that I’m an only child now, that I’m not and older ... Read more

Oii. Tenho ido ao psicólogo e ele tem me dado algumas direções, estou melhorando. Preciso dizer que compreendo que você não fez porque queria, foi algo para matar a dor. Tudo bem, sempre vou te amar do mesmo jeitinho. Você sempre será parte da minha história, sempre será meu irmão e sou grata por ter tido sua presença comigo.

Tenho algumas novidades, mas vou deixar para te contar quando eu tiver certeza do que sinto e do que tenho a minha frente.

Amo você, Taz. Muita luz para ti.

here I am. It’s very hard for me when you gone. Maybe you understand english but it’s a good way for me to tell all how I miss you! I Need my Grandpa to tell him Storys from my day, I Need you to find a solution when I have a Problem and someone who is there for me every time. I love you very much, I’m sorry when I tell you that not so many, but it’s the truth. I hope you become this message, also when I know you are here by me. Now I had a Problem and I Need someone, who I can told. I hope you find a solution and sent it to me. I will be happy 🙂 I miss you very much and hope you are happy today. much kisses for you love you forever (I know you are here by me)

Today marks one year since you passed. One year. A whole freaking year. I wish you didn’t leave, I really do. You probably know this, but you’ve helped so many people get through hard times, me included. I’m not even sure if I’d still be here if I hadn’t found Linkin Park. Okay, I may be exaggerating a bit, but I don’t even know how to tell you how much you and Linkin Park mean to me. If you had stayed, maybe I would’ve gotten the chance to tell you in person. B ut whatever, I’m telling you now. I don’t even know if you can see this, but if you can, I – and hundreds of others – miss you. It still hurts. Sometimes I lay awake, sobbing, while listening to LP or Mike’s Post Traumatic album. I really hope you heard it from up there (the album, not the sobbing) cause it’s so good and he really misses you. We all do. I think I’ve said this like three times already. I’m not really good with ‘expressing feelings,’ and I’m sorry that this isn’t a very emotional letter, but I wish you were still here. You and everyone ... Read more

Hey, I know you won’t read it. You don’t evan understand english, but it’s a bit easier to me to write you this way. I need you. I know I didn’t cried a lot when you passed away but I just couldn’t believe that. I think that the times in your garden was the best in my live. I didn’t know how lucky I was to have something like that. It was a pure happines. Now you’re gone and I don’t now how to face my demons anymore. I’m scared and I don’t think I can handle it. I just reaaly hope you still love me. I know I’m not the innocent girl anymore, but it’s still me here inside. I hope you can see R. from heaven. I hope you know how amazing she is. I’m sure she would love you as much as I did. I know you are somewhere nice and grandpa is definitely by your side. Please send him my love and tell him I miss him and I love him. I’m not sure I ever said that to him.