"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the sister you needed me to be, and I’m sorry if you ever thought that I didn’t love you. If I could take back all of the hurtful heat of moment things I’d said, I would. I had a dream yesterday, and it wasn’t a dream filled with magic or a happy ending. It was just a dream about you and I, sitting and bickering over candy. I don’t know what hurt the most about it though. Was it waking up and realizing I’d had a good dream with you, or waking up and realizing that it was a lie because you’re gone? You’re gone and you’re never coming back. I don’t think I have it in me though to ask for you to come back, not to a world where you’d be in pain. I’d like to think life would be easier if I forgot you all together. Forgot the pain of losing you, the pain of having to say that I’m an only child now, that I’m not and older ... Read more

Oii. Tenho ido ao psicólogo e ele tem me dado algumas direções, estou melhorando. Preciso dizer que compreendo que você não fez porque queria, foi algo para matar a dor. Tudo bem, sempre vou te amar do mesmo jeitinho. Você sempre será parte da minha história, sempre será meu irmão e sou grata por ter tido sua presença comigo.

Tenho algumas novidades, mas vou deixar para te contar quando eu tiver certeza do que sinto e do que tenho a minha frente.

Amo você, Taz. Muita luz para ti.

here I am. It’s very hard for me when you gone. Maybe you understand english but it’s a good way for me to tell all how I miss you! I Need my Grandpa to tell him Storys from my day, I Need you to find a solution when I have a Problem and someone who is there for me every time. I love you very much, I’m sorry when I tell you that not so many, but it’s the truth. I hope you become this message, also when I know you are here by me. Now I had a Problem and I Need someone, who I can told. I hope you find a solution and sent it to me. I will be happy 🙂 I miss you very much and hope you are happy today. much kisses for you love you forever (I know you are here by me)

Today marks one year since you passed. One year. A whole freaking year. I wish you didn’t leave, I really do. You probably know this, but you’ve helped so many people get through hard times, me included. I’m not even sure if I’d still be here if I hadn’t found Linkin Park. Okay, I may be exaggerating a bit, but I don’t even know how to tell you how much you and Linkin Park mean to me. If you had stayed, maybe I would’ve gotten the chance to tell you in person. B ut whatever, I’m telling you now. I don’t even know if you can see this, but if you can, I – and hundreds of others – miss you. It still hurts. Sometimes I lay awake, sobbing, while listening to LP or Mike’s Post Traumatic album. I really hope you heard it from up there (the album, not the sobbing) cause it’s so good and he really misses you. We all do. I think I’ve said this like three times already. I’m not really good with ‘expressing feelings,’ and I’m sorry that this isn’t a very emotional letter, but I wish you were still here. You and everyone ... Read more

Hey, I know you won’t read it. You don’t evan understand english, but it’s a bit easier to me to write you this way. I need you. I know I didn’t cried a lot when you passed away but I just couldn’t believe that. I think that the times in your garden was the best in my live. I didn’t know how lucky I was to have something like that. It was a pure happines. Now you’re gone and I don’t now how to face my demons anymore. I’m scared and I don’t think I can handle it. I just reaaly hope you still love me. I know I’m not the innocent girl anymore, but it’s still me here inside. I hope you can see R. from heaven. I hope you know how amazing she is. I’m sure she would love you as much as I did. I know you are somewhere nice and grandpa is definitely by your side. Please send him my love and tell him I miss him and I love him. I’m not sure I ever said that to him.

Hii, I hope you are well. I did talk to my lecturer about how I feel,but it doesn’t help that much..I don’t know what to do,grandpa. I can feel myself slowly becoming unmotivated and I really don’t want to feel like that,I’m trying so so hard to be optimistic. But omg , it’s so damn hard. I’m pretty sure my grades are showing off my attitude towards learning. I know I still want to learn, but I’m doubting myself a lot when I’m in school,the subjects I’m taking,did I choose the right choice? My parents don’t know anything about it. I guess, I’m back to square 1, bottling up everything. I want to talk to someone,but I’m so scared. My parents have expectation of me and I don’t want to disappoint them ,you know? I feel like I’m in a stage of life where I’m figuring my pathway ,my decisions and especially,what do I aspire to be in the future? I don’t even know my aspirations. Everything is going down hill and I feel so shitty everyday,grandpa. I really want things to get better and I’m trying so hard to be strong everyday. It’s so tiring.

Oi. Vim aqui com a ideia de te dizer que não teriam mais cartas, mas não consigo pensar nisso como algo bom, portanto, continuarei com isso.

Tenho ido a um psicólogo, ele disse que preciso aceitar, de verdade, aceitar o passado, aceitar que tenho que continuar a viver e que você está descansando. Chorar é um mecanismo instintivo, pois quando choravamos alguém sempre nos acudia, mas dessa vez ninguém pode ajudar se não eu mesma, então, sem lágrimas até o ponto que seja incontrolável mesmo. Talvez isso me ajude, veremos. Não quero superar para te esquecer, apenas quero que reste lembranças boas comigo.

Minha crush tem (bom) gosto idêntico a mim, inclusive a sexualidade hihihi. Pena que eu não faço ideia de como chegar nela, nem como amiga, quem dirá além, veremos no que vai dar. Estou a tempos sem me envolver com alguem e estou perdendo o jeito. Na verdade, acho que só consigo usar meu jeito com pessoas desconhecidas hahaha droga. A grande verdade é que “wanna split that cookie?” resolveria bastante coisa, só falta a coragem. Quem sabe, não é mesmo?

Muita luz, onde quer que você esteja. Amo você, Taz.

I miss you with day everyday that goes by. You mean the world to me and for the longest time I couldn’t imagine living my life without you. You were my whole entire world and you were my everything. Our love story will always be one that will stick with me forever. We are like spaghetti and syrup remember, from the movie Elf. It pains me to say goodbye to you because I love you so much. But sometimes you need to let go, let go of what’s holding you back and I need to let go. I hope you are happy and that you know that I love you. I will always love you to infinity and back.

Aku senang karena Anda yang memerankan Snape di HP 🙂 Aku baru aja selesai nonton ulang series HP dan setiap aku melihat karaktermu, bulu kudukku merinding karena aku tau betapa besar cinta Snape. Terkadang aku masih berharap kau ada, dan ketika aku sudah tua kau akan muncul di reuni HP dan mengatakan line legenda itu; always. Aku senang hidup di jaman ini, mengenalmu, mengenal HP, dan bahkan dapat menulis surat ini. Kayaknya udah ini aja deh. Dah

Hey tito, I’m here again! You’ve been gone for 4 years now and I really miss you. A lot has happened since, grandma is a little more dependant and some nights when I remember all the things you did for both if your grandkids (me and Fran) i start to tear up a little. I know you are in a better place now but i just feel like a piece of me is missing hope you are proud of where I am now. Personally I felt like I was missing someone last year in my 6th grade graduation, but I know you were there even if I couldn’t see you. Hope you enjoyed your time with me, because I really enjoyed it. Love you!))