"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

This is not a love letter. You were a monster. Why did you do heroin? Why did you become abusive? Why did you want me to be around just to bring me down? Why did you hurt so many people? Why did you steal? Why did you decide to have kids just to steal from them? Why did you even bother? Why couldn’t you be there? Why couldn’t you have been a good father? Why couldn’t you have chosen your two daughters over drugs? Why couldn’t you have treated your mother with respect? Why couldn’t you have left me alone? How could you mess my life up? How could you ruin my trust? How could you hurt us? How could you corrupt us? How could you hurt others with no guilt? How could you hurt me? Why did you destroy your body? Why did you even bother?

You left the world almost three years ago. It doesn’t seem real. I remember your smile, your love for sweet food (diabetic), and your undying love for the Cincinnati Reds. You would always say, “Goodnight, love you.” Then you left. You were sick. They said that your were going to die. I didn’t believe them, I thought that you would pull through. You didn’t. You died, alone, in a nursing home. You died with strangers, when you should have died with your family. I remember being extremely angry at my brother, because he said, “He was already dead to me.” You should never say that. Never. I miss you. I wish you were here. I wish I could see your smile, and hear your laugh one last time. But, I never will. Ever since your death, I have never been the same. You were a light in the everlasting darkness. I wish I could say goodbye, just one last time. But, I won’t be able to. They say that I will be okay. I don’t think I am ever going to. I love you

I am inspired by you everyday. Your music helped me through a lot. I wish you didn’t do it. You left behind a wife and family. You were loved. I have always felt connected to your music. Your voice, lyrics, and songs helped many people. I just want to know why you did it. Was it the death of Chris Cornell? I know he was a great friend of yours. I just wish you were here. I wish we could go back in time to get you and Chris help. You both inspired many with your voices. I have cried many times listening to your song One More Light. I just wish you would have shown signs so that you could’ve gotten help. Many peoplpeople wish that you were here. I hate people who are joking about your suicide. It is not a joke, or a funny meme. You were a person. You were a star that flickered, and died. You were alive. You were beautiful, and amazing. I am so sorry that you are gone.

Eu rezo por você todos os dias, para que você esteja em paz e feliz, para que você tenha se encontrado, e encontrado um mundo melhor. Saiba que mesmo que você tenha ficado sozinho no seu último dia, você nunca estará sozinho, porque você é muito amado por mim e por muitas pessoas que todos os dias sentem sua falta. Onde você estiver por favor, saiba que sempre estará no meu coração, e no coração dos seus fãs e dos seus amados filhos. Michael você hoje é muito admirado, muito amado, muito acolhido e respeitado, hoje todos nós sabemos como você é um homem maravilhoso, bondoso e talentoso, e saiba que o mundo perdeu o maior artista que já existiu, você foi daqui para as estrelas, e hoje você é a estrela mais brilhante de todo o céu.. E eu nunca, nunca deixarei você morrer enquanto eu viver. Eu te amo muito, que Deus esteja cuidando de você.

Oi. Em alguns dias irá completar um mês e ainda não tive a coragem de apagar suas mensagens. É como se fazer isso vá tornar tudo mais real e eu não quero que seja. Quero manter sua voz gravada, assim se eu me esquecer do seu “pestinha”, talvez eu possa ouvir os seus áudios no repetir e lembrar, e sentir um pouco mais de ti. Acho que nunca conseguirei escrever para ti sem ficar a beira de desmoronar. Eu sinto tanto pelo que não vivemos e isso é o que mais dói. Vivemos tanto em pouco tempo e você não será esquecido, fica tranquilo. Aliás, minha visão sobre a vida mudou, infelizmente dessa maneira, mas os momentos com os meus amados se tornaram muito mais simbólicos, só queria te contar.

Outra novidade é que tenho realmente tentado tocar a bola para frente. A pessoa que me mantinha presa, não parece ter muito interesse em manter-se em minha vida, portanto não irei implorar por isso. Ando ficando com garotos e tentando gostar, mas não acho que esteja fumcionando. As garotas ainda me parecem bem mais interessantes, porém talvez eu dê uma chance para um certo rapaz. Veremos.

Volto para contar sobre o ... Read more

Thank you for being there ever since I was a little toddler, I know we made mistakes together as you and my parents often fought a lot about me. When I turned two years old, you left, said mom when she told me about you during your funeral. You died a long time ago, and it was painful to remember. I’ve been reading a lot of books and writing some myself, but I have never encountered such a lovely book as the one Ava Dellaira had written, and it inspired me to try and reach out to you.

Aunt Tessie, please don’t be sad, nobody has ever forgotten who you are. You are always in my heart, as the best aunt I could have. I couldn’t do anything when I saw you laying on your bed, so slim like you’re becoming bones. I was scared, more like guilty. I regret how I never got to thank you so genuinely while you were still breathing in the same air as I was… And now you’re inside that coffin underground.

Back when I was four, I was a really great ballerina, I used to be such a perfectionist in what I do. My parents ... Read more

I haven’t tried to kill myself, yesterday was the anniversary of the day they found you hanging in your closet and I was able to do basic things that I usually can’t on that day. I wish you were here because I miss everything about you, but I don’t think I will ever forgive you for how hard you made things for everyone. It isn’t the same and it’s frustrating. You didn’t know it but the day your mother got the car she had just picked me up and we were going to surprise you for valentines day. I love you and I hope you have piece now. your friend, Autumn

I haven’t tried to kill myself, yesterday was the anniversary of the day they found you hanging in your closet and I was able to do basic things that I usually can’t on that day. I wish you were here because I miss everything about you, but I don’t think I will ever forgive you for how hard you made things for everyone. It isn’t the same and it’s frustrating. You didn’t know it but the day your mother got the car she had just picked me up and we were going to surprise you for valentines day. I love you and I hope you have piece now. your friend, Autumn

I haven’t tried to kill myself, yesterday was the anniversary of the day they found you hanging in your closet and I was able to do basic things that I usually can’t on that day. I wish you were here because I miss everything about you, but I don’t think I will ever forgive you for how hard you made things for everyone. It isn’t the same and it’s frustrating. You didn’t know it but the day your mother got the car she had just picked me up and we were going to surprise you for valentines day. I love you and I hope you have piece now. your friend, Autumn

i hope you found the peace you deserved.