"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Doufám, že mi někdy odpustíš. Nikdy jsem nic takového nechtěla udělat, tak věz, že dokonce života se nad tvou smrtí budu trápit, a můj život už nikdy nebude jako dřív. Pořídily jsme si novou Grace všimla sis? Jsi na nás pyšná? Bylo to težké, ale nikdo nikdy nebude jako ty zlato. Doufám, že mě/nás pozoruješ z nebíčka. Já na tebe totiž myslím každý den, to mi věř. Snad už jsi teď šťastnější. Miluju tě Grace a řeknu ti ve všech jazycích, ve kterých to umím. Miluju tě, I love you, Te amo, Te quiero, Ti amo, Milujam ťa, Ich liebe dich, Mi amas vin, Je t’aime Grace!

Ya a pasado un año, un mes una semana exactamente que te arrebataron la vida de esa forma tan trágica. Tu partida nos dejó un hueco en el pecho que jamás cerrará. Siento como si mi corazón estuviese sin latido al pronunciar tu nombre. Te extraño todos los días. Ojalá pudiera escribir estas palabras sin derramar una lágrima pero no lo consigo es más fuerte que yo, tú partida me dejó sin consuelo. Aún creo sentir tu perfume en el aire. Y oír tú risa. O escuchar tu voz diciendo alguna tontería. Te extraño siempre. Espero que ahora estés haciendo tu propia revolución allá arriba.

I keep on rewatching your videos after your death. I watched SNL, your variety shows with shinee, and everything else. I am entertained but then suddenly remember the fact that hey, you don’t exist anymore. It feels so surreal because last time I checked you were still alive. Ha. I was wrong, I guess.

Do you know how much it hurt, Jonghyun? To find updates about you only to find out you committed suicide. I never knew what you were up to but I was so blinded by the fact that your life was at risk. I prayed many times but your company released a final statement that broke my heart. I cried and shouted in pain, in agony.

But I guess it was really for your best. I read your last message and it hurts. Everything hurts right now. I think you were trying to find acceptance and self worth but to no avail. I wish I could turn back time and I might have sent you a message that can atleast, cheer you up a bit. I wish I had tried to present my love for you even if my savings are at risk. hahahaha. It’s too late now.

I ... Read more

so I don’t know if you’re really dead. I never felt a moment where you exactly left. It felt like you faded over time. I drove you out, you weren’t welcome and I’m sorry. I’m sorry the last year was so mean, I’m sorry you went through so much harm and hatred and I’m sorry you wanted to die so badly and I couldn’t even see the problem. I was so blind and so ignorant for so long and sometimes I wonder if anyone else saw it too. Since you’ve been gone a lot has changed. I have new people in my life and although it’s really hard right now I know it’s going to be better someday. A lot more people understand now and even if my parents don’t I think they want to. I miss you so much some nights and I cried you a lot, sometimes. I wish things were simple like when you were here and I wish someone knew what was going on. But you had to, you had to die and I know you had to. I am so sorry you did and I miss you with all my heart. But what I’m ... Read more

Well it has been about 9 months now. I miss you a lot… I need you. I’m only 15. You weren’t supposed to die. But you chose the bottle over me. Yes I’m mad. I’m mad at you I’m mad at myself for not doing better and I’m especially mad at your mom and sister and everyone else on that side of the family. They abandoned us. I don’t have much family left… You left me here with this shit. you were the only one I could trust. The only one I cared about… Somethings have changed with me. I don’t care about anything. As you know I at least was the most caring person ever. I’m sorry that you were so depressed. I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough. And I’m so sorry for letting you die alone. I should have been there… Anyways Papa died last week too. I guess you could say that 2017 really is the worst year of my life. Papa really cared for you. I miss him a lot as well. I just wish that the both of you would of stopped drinking. On a better note I guess I’m doing well in school. But ... Read more

Te quería decir que si por alguna remota casualidad estas viéndome escribir esto, estoy bastante bien ya sea conmigo misma como con mi familia, gracias por unirme tanto con mis primos y hacer una parte de mi vida cada vez mas linda tanto hayas estado aquí como cuando ya no. Te extrañamos mucho y me encanta recordar anécdotas tuyas. Siempre tuya -I

I miss you very much. It’s been 8 months that you are gone now. I hope you are all right wherever you are. Life is very hard without you. The best part of me, it died with you. My soul died the moment i realized you were gone. Why did you go? We had so much plans together, we had our whole future planned together. How am i supposed to live all that without you in it? I hope you can see me. You can feel how i am feeling right? I just miss you so much. Its like i am living a life with no future. No one would understand what you meant to me but you. Everyone says, with time it’ll be better. Well, it’s not getting any better, i am still stuck to the moment when i lost you. Either the world is lying or i am not meant to be in this world anymore. When i told you, happiness is being with you, i really meant that. I am miserable without you aahile. I wake up every morning realizing that my phone won’t ring with your name flashing, I have to live yet another day without hearing your beautiful voice. When ... Read more

I’m not quite sure how to start this, I wish you were still alive and you hadn’t committed suicide. I wish there was more that could have been done to help you not go down that path. I’m sorry for the things you had to go through and suffer, you were amazing and talented. Each time I hear the line “no one sings like you anymore…” in black hole sun, it makes me think of you and how unique your voice was. You’re life will live on as long as I’m alive because I’ll keep listening to your music and I’ll continue to share it with others.You truly were something else.

You had rough life when you were little I do not know everything that you’re mom did to you but when I first saw you and played with you you were everything to me I thought you were so special and you were the first person that I could tell my secrets to like a friend. When you moved I was always looking forward to the next time I’ll see you l talk to you through the phone and at one point I stoped worrying about you because I thought you were okay. That year you said you will come to see us avión I was so happy for that moment to come but you never came you let yourself go away from this earth I hope you know that I still care about you and that I will always and have always been here for you. Why did you do that when you knew you had family who cared for you .

How are you? First of all, I want you to know that this week, we’ve been thinking about you at home. Gosh, I miss you. I need you. We need you. School’s fine. I believe that I’ve found amazing friends, I like my subjects and I’ve been getting good grades, well, I need to improve Photo, but I’ll do it. T, this week I found out that I would be able to find love, and well, I can’t lie to you. I’m pretty excited, and I just can’t wait to meet this man. Grandpa, could you help me? I mean, could you bring him as soon as possible? Maybe it’s crazy for me to ask you this. But please, T, there are no impossibles for you. I really wish to have someone special in my life. You don’t know how bad I feel. I’ve never had a boyfriend, and I’ve felt that nobody wants or likes me, and that makes me feel ugly. I may act tough and careless about love, but I do wish love, Grandpa. I really do. It’s so painful the fact that everybody keeps asking me why I’m single, and it’s strange the fact that even my little sister is ... Read more