"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Well, where do I start? Today I couldn’t stop listening to Dumb. It was one of those things that make me distance myself from my life and bring me closer to who I am, to what I’m feeling like. I also got this when I read ‘Love Letters To The Dead’. It’s an amazing book. I wish you could’ve read it. I try to combine this feeling into my own book, including you, your wonderful music, and the fore mentioned book, though I’m not sure if I can do it. This feeling makes me alive and hollow at the same time. I’m fake, but it’s okay, because it’s human. I wish so badly that you could read it. I will call it ‘the extraordinary’ and I will dedicate it to you, because you are the one inspiring me to lay down the mask and play my emotions onto this empty sheet of paper. There’s just too much to be felt more than said.

I know that it is kind of different getting a letter when you have passed but, I want to tell you that even though you are gone people are always being inspired by you. You inspired me to start playing the bass guitar. You have inspired me to be myself and not have to act like someone I want to be but to act like my true self. Since you have been gone you have missed a lot, this year you would have been 50 years old and you daughter is 24 years old. Did it ever occur to you that once you kill yourself you are hurting other, you may even be hurting other people to the point where they are hurting more than you were. I’m sorry this letter is a little mean but I am speaking my opinion. I love you Kurt and I still wish you could be here today.

In September, it will be three years since you took your own life. I know when you passed we weren’t really friends anymore but you are still one of the best friends I ever had and will ever had and one of my favorite people. I realize you never knew how special you were and how bright your light was and that makes me truly sad. That’s almost as sad as knowing you’ll never grow to be the wonderful man I know you were destined to be. Even though I no longer think of you everyday I think of you often sometimes it makes me really sad and I cry and other times I laugh and smile because I knew you and you had a huge part in shaping my childhood. A couple weeks ago I started watching the DVD of when we did Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good , Very Bad Day. I didn’t even get all the way through the first song when my laptop wouldn’t work right and even though I tried to restart the DVD it never played right so I stopped trying. I wondering if some power ... Read more

I want to start off this letter by saying how much I miss you and how much I wish you were here with me and our family right now. We miss your laugh at the dinner table and your funny stories of when you were a boy.

I miss your stories about the man who used to live in your linen closet and who would rough you up when you tried to get the rent from him, I want to let you know that even though I knew there wasn’t a man in the linen closet I still loved every minute of you telling me the story and you coming out of the linen closet with your glasses all askew, ten-year-old me loved that.

I also want to say how sorry I am that I didn’t come and say goodbye to you in the hospital when you were leaving us. I hope you know that I love you. I couldn’t bring myself to come to the hospital and say goodbye because I couldn’t stand the thought of seeing you in there not smiling and not yourself.

I am sorry I let you down.

I’ll miss you forever and wish you could ... Read more

I’m graduating in a few weeks. Three to be exact. It’s been really hard without you, even though you died when I was young. I wish you were alive during my teenage years. They have been hell, but I’m getting better. Are you having fun up there with ninny? I do hope so. I hope that you know that I’m a boy now.. I’m not your little sister anymore… I’m your little brother. I really miss you Corey, and I hope that you are doing well wherever you may be. I hope that in a way, you can read this.. It’d be nice..

I didnt know if you were my enemy or friend, but we had the same taste in music which is all that really matters to me. We both fell in love with the same girl and that’s where everything went bad. You knew her before me and even had the courtesy of sharing time with her. I was going to give you my skateboard before you passed, you told me about your skills but you didnt have a board!! We hung out one night at your house, in the garage. Bryce invited me over and i smoked with you guys and we talked about life. I wish you were still here even though your actions may have provoked some anger inside of me, you could make me happy just as easily! If things could be different they would be i guess.

love – roy

Where do I even begin? When you passed away 3 months ago , I didn’t just lose my uncle, I lost my biggest supporter and my mentor. It kills me that I never got the chance to tell you that you were the reason I had become so confident in my art. You are the reason I want to peruse my dream in becoming an art teacher. It was you who believed in me when I gave up on myself. I will never forget the look of amazement when you first saw my drawings and paintings. You were so amazed and it brought so much joy to my heart because no one has ever looked at my art the way you did that day You soon became my biggest supporter and my biggest fan. Even though you’re in heaven now it feels like you are here supporting me, it’s my design that is the logo for the charity in your honor and when I look at that logo it’s a reminder that you’re still here with me. I love you so much and I miss my you ... Read more

Hi, I hope you are doing well up there. I’m not doing that well right now. But I’m trying really hard to be okay, to continue staying strong everyday. It’s just that, my life is really hard now. I’m feeling so stressed up lately. I think I’m bad at dealing with stress. Hopefully, writing this letter to you will ease my stress a little bit. School is getting harder every single day. I don’t know how I’m surviving at school. I feel like the things that I do are always wrong(?) I thought the things I do are correct, but I was totally wrong. I broke down 3 times this week, grandpa. I keep telling myself, oh it’s going to be a better day tomorrow, but it’s not. Not yet I guess. I feel shitty sometimes when I’m at school. Some teachers didn’t acknowledge my effort and told me that I didn’t put any effort in school. How can they say that when they did see how hard I work to maintain my A? It’s hurts a lot when people say you don’t put effort when you spend a lot of time studying, revising, when actually, I put in all ... Read more

I… Am so fucking sorry… I’m sorry for so many fucking things… I’m sorry for hating you… I’m sorry for trying to push you out of my life… And I’m sorry for wanting you in hell. I… I hope I didn’t mean any of it. I’m still not very sure about myself… which drives me insane… I’m sorry for everything alright. We’re moving to another fucking country which our fucking dad it was a fucking great idea. Fuck him I wish he fucking dies so I could write him a letter here and wish he fucking burns in hell. We’re leaving early… I think… And it’s before your death anniversary… It’ll be the first time spending it without you which sounds fucking stupid and then I,m going to spend our birthday by myself too. No visiting the columbarium… I’m going to miss you so fucking much….. I’m sorry. This makes me so angry!!!!!!

I know that you’re a fictional character, my mother doesn’t like your story much judging by the reviews they gave it. But I loved it, and I understood you. I would love to write an alternative ending where you get to live, but then it kinda makes sense that you died. Which I know sounds sick, even though it’s for the sake of good story telling. If you were real then it would be really sick too. You have a very interesting life… Your Parents loved you and… It must’ve been excruciating that they were ignoring you… People in school were assholes to you, but then they don’t deserve anything horrible that I or everyone for that matter, is thinking. You did’,t deserve to die, and I guess in you head you didn’t care if you deserved it or not. You didn’t really say that you thought you deserved to die… But I have a feeling that you did too anyway… I know that feeling, not caring about yourself. You start giving up on everything because you know, you’ll kill yourself anyway so whatever. You took the world by storm, and not just your fictional world, but everyone else’s. ... Read more