"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

What makes you a bad person? When is it going to far? When do you go from insecure to insane? Or is there even a difference? I feel like the older I get, the more insecure I feel. When I look at the people who mean the world to me, I wonder why they even waste their time on me. I’m holding my breath, waiting for them to wake up, and realize they can do so much better. And then there’s her. She’s a bright star in a world so dark compared to her. She’s my sun, the one who I would be lost without. And she chose me. I still can’t believe it. It seems too good to be true. And the thing that terrifies me most in the world is losing her. So I do everything in my power to keep her.

Sometimes I disgust myself. The things I do so that the few friends I have don’t leave me. If I make them jealous, they’ll spend more time with me right? If I talk loudly to someone else, will I catch their attention? Will they come over to talk? If they’re talking to someone else, I’ll just casually ... Read more

It’s weird how the smallest things can make me miss you. I can hear someone hum and miss how you’d sing to me. I can hear someone laugh and miss the laughter that lit up your brown eyes. I can see a post-it note and miss the way you’d leave clever little jokes in my locker. I can see a couple hugging and miss the way you’d hold me. I miss the thump-thump-thump of your heart. I felt so safe in your arms, like nothing could ever harm me. I should have been holding you. I should have protected you…..I shouldn’t have let you leave that night. No, I should have went with you. Then maybe the car crash would have killed me and kept you safe. I hope you’re safe now, Eth. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when it happened, E. I miss you everyday, my baby boy. I hope you’re lighting up heaven with that contagious smile.

Ontem você fez 16 anos. Ou melhor, faria. Faz 6 meses que você se foi e ainda parece que não é real, que você apenas tirou umas férias desse mundo repleto de caos mas que a qualquer momento vai voltar. Mas você não vai. Esse ano tá sendo bem complicado. Mesmo quando você ainda estava por aqui, as coisas já estavam começando a dar errado. Depois só foi piorando. Minha familía estava mal, meus amigos estvam mal e eu também estava mal. E por mais que o ano esteja acabando, o universo (ou seja lá quem ou o quê for) não dá descanso. Eu preciso de férias. Não só da escola, mas da vida. Eu preciso poder olhar nos olhos das pessoas ao meu redor e não ver tanto sofrimento. Eu preciso de você. Mas eu sei que tudo vai dar mais certo. As coisas estão melhorando aos poucos com tempo e eu acho que ano que vem vai ser bem melhor (ou pelo menos é o que eu espero). Alguém me disse que você agora é o nosso anjinho e vai estar sempre cuidando de nós. ... Read more

I don’t know if you’re gonna read this or not but i want you to know that you’re missed a lot and i really love you. I love you a lot and i wish you were here with me right now because i need you. I really need you here besides me so that you can support me in school.

The last thing you said to me was “Ireally like your smile. It’s pretty on you. Keep it on while i’m up there looking down at you.” It was just before you took your life away from me. While i cried and told you not to do it. But it was already too late. We planed to go the same high school together and go the same thing. But at the beginning of 9th grade did you disappeared. Far away from me.

I still waiting for you. For you to come back to me. I wait for you on the same place where you left me broken down. I love you, Albin.

This letter would’ve been longer if I hadn’t left the site to do something. I wrote some stuff. Wrote some stuff that would’ve made you sad. It’s all disappeared now. I’m kinda disappointed, but whatever. I don’t think that people would want to see that kind of personal information. What I wrote was all about the past. Things that had happened when you were with us. Mostly all the bad things. I wrote them because they’ve been weighing down my chest for far too long that I needed to write it down. Well I guess it’s for the best that it should be kept and not shared.

Thing’s have been tough lately… Oh. I don’t know if you already know, but two years ago we removed the dirty carpet. It was replaced by lenolium tiles, but unfortunately they were cheap and they got torn off the floor. We removed them all a few months later when it got totally worn off. In the bedroom, however, the lenolium tiles stayed. We constantly need to wear slippers now since all that was left is a dirty concrete floor (in which I still walk on with my bare feet when my slippers went ... Read more

This letter would’ve been longer if I hadn’t left the site to do something. I wrote some stuff. Wrote some stuff that would’ve made you sad. It’s all disappeared now. I’m kinda disappointed, but whatever. I don’t think that people would want to see that kind of personal information. What I wrote was all about the past. Things that had happened when you were with us. Mostly all the bad things. I wrote them because they’ve been weighing down my chest for far too long that I needed to write it down.

Thing’s have been tough lately… Oh. I don’t know if you already know, but two years ago we removed the dirty carpet. It was replaced by lenolium tiles, but unfortunately they were cheap and they got torn off the floor. We removed them all a few months later when it got totally worn off. In the bedroom, however, the lenolium tiles stayed. We constantly need to wear slippers now since all that was left is a dirty concrete floor (in which I still walk on with my bare feet when my slippers went missing). It was sorta sad that the carpet was gone. We had our first steps ... Read more

This letter would’ve been longer if I hadn’t left the site to do something. I wrote some stuff. Wrote some stuff that would’ve made you sad. It’s all disappeared now. I’m kinda disappointed, but whatever. I don’t think that people would want to see that kind of personal information. What I wrote was all about the past. Things that had happened when you were with us. Mostly all the bad things. I wrote them because they’ve been weighing down my chest for far too long that I needed to write it down.

Thing’s have been tough lately… Oh. I don’t know if you already know, but two years ago we removed the dirty carpet. It was replaced by lenolium tiles, but unfortunately they were cheap and they got torn off the floor. We removed them all a few months later when it got totally worn off. In the bedroom, however, the lenolium tiles stayed. We constantly need to wear slippers now since all that was left is a dirty concrete floor (in which I still walk on with my bare feet when my slippers went missing). It was sorta sad that the carpet was gone. We had our first steps ... Read more

This letter would’ve been longer if I hadn’t left the site to do something. I wrote some stuff. Wrote some stuff that would’ve made you sad. It’s all disappeared now. I’m kinda disappointed, but whatever. I don’t think that people would want to see that kind of personal information. What I wrote was all about the past. Things that had happened when you were with us. Mostly all the bad things. I wrote them because they’ve been weighing down my chest for far too long that I needed to write it down.

Thing’s have been tough lately… Oh. I don’t know if you already know, but two years ago we removed the dirty carpet. It was replaced by lenolium tiles, but unfortunately they were cheap and they got torn off the floor. We removed them all a few months later when it got totally worn off. In the bedroom, however, the lenolium tiles stayed. We constantly need to wear slippers now since all that was left is a dirty concrete floor (in which I still walk on with my bare feet when my slippers went missing). It was sorta sad that the carpet was gone. We had our first steps ... Read more

I miss you so much. I don’t cry but it looks difficult to hold on.You’ve left so many people behind you. I still don’t know if your death is an accident or a suicide but maybe it’s better like that. If God wants it, a day I’ll find the peace, the real peace. 3 years little star, 3 years. Thank you for the little infinity you gave to me. It was a pleasure to know you, a pleasure

So…I read this book, Love Letter To The Dead. It’s good and I honestly couldn’t help but cry reading it. It was amazing. I understood some things -like how Laurel missed May, her sister- that I could NOT get over thinking about. I miss you, a ton. Our oldest brother had a baby… again with his wife. Brother showed me a song called ‘Two Again’, by Cristian Burrows. It reminds me of you. So much has been happening since you went, even though that was 6 years ago. Last year, Mom, brought me a necklace charm, with you on it. I haven’t taken it off ’til now, because my chain needs to be fixed. I admit, I haven’t been the easiest to be around with Mom and Dad because I’ve been……………ANYWHOOO, I’m doing my best to be good for them. School is a prison. Though I like my teachers, I can’t stand learning! I’ve been reading and listening to music and this year I made a few new friends. I lost one of my best friends so its hard without her, but I guess that’s life. I hope you’re okay and all. Honestly, I don’t know if God is ... Read more