"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

How are you doing? It’s been a while since we last met each other, but have been thinking about you quite often recently. Can you remember the little eight-year-old girl who was absolutely in love with your cakes and pies and who could spend the whole day playing with your old neclases and earrings? Well, things have changed a bit since then. It’s my first year of high school now. I started attending the dancing classes. I started waring heels. Trying cooking and baking. Having long hair. Doing my make up. Thinking about boys. And you know what? I think you would be proud of me if you could see me. Knowing this is something which gives me some kind of hope when I feel down. Everything’s okay. I’m sure you would love me the most just the way I am. Thank you for all the love you have ever given to me. I couldn’t realize it before, but hopefuly I do now. Thank you for being the best grandma I could ever have. P.S. I still keep those wedding glowes you gave me. And I’m going to wear them when my big day comes. I promise. Endless love yours

I’m writing to you more often than usual these days. I think this is really helping me a lot. I thought twice before writing another letter since I don’t wanna look like a copy cat. But I’m writing to you anyway because I want to and these letters are too private for anyone to know that I wrote these. I’ll keep my name anonymous for the time being.

Anyway, straight to the point. I met my best friend today in the mall (the mall was crowded as hell by the way), she was with other people, but I didn’t mind. I didn’t want to converse with people since I barely knew them and I mostly wanted to spend time with my best friend. She knows what I’ve been going through and is scared to death of me committing suicide. She gave me these notebook filled with so much encouraging words and heartwarming thoughts, that it was enough for me to be scared of committing suicide. From that point I was afraid of leaving people behind, although it didn’t complete rid the thought of suicide in my head. It won’t rid my anxiety completely, but hopefully it will ... Read more

Hey Blondie, I kinda miss you, like I admit it. Me writing this letter to you is hypocritical of my part you know? Cause I know that what I really want is admit a few things to myself, but Wellington, never mind (Nevermind haha). Well, at first, I want to say what you meant to me and my life, you were the first guy I’ve ever like, so believe me, you meant a lot (still meaning) cause you know, my life suddenly became something that really turned around you and what you liked, cause I wanted to impress you, I wanted you to like me, and then I found out that tou did like me, oh my god I was so happy. After this, we talked a lot, and how much more I knew you, more I liked you. And finally, after really meet eachother, we kissed. Was my distribuição kiss, and was good, I was soooo happy and soooo in love with you boy, you have no ideia. And after that everything that was doing so well, suddenly fell apart. You disappeared, didn’t talked to me anymore, no texto, no calls, and I was freaking out already, ... Read more

When you saw the light while you were at that operating table, did you ever stop to think that were leaving so many people behind? Did you just go for it like a moth and didn’t think twice what that was or anything? How is it up in heaven? I bet it’s great. You’re up there not feeling any pain, not feeling worry, while we’re all down here wallowing and enduring the pain of being alive. Does God ever tell what’s happening to the family you left behind?

I don’t like being mad at you. I stopped praying at night because of you. The only memories in my head that I have of you is was when you were laying lifeless in the coffin. At your funeral I was too afraid to look at you. Although when they let me take a peak at you, I hoped that you would just jump up and laugh and tell us that it was all just some sick joke. I would rather go through a sick joke than reality. Every time that I tried to look at you in that coffin, I wanted you to move. I considered even breaking the glass and ... Read more

Are you doing well up there? I hope you are. It’s your granddaughter, we never met before but I heard stories about you from your son, my father. I think you are really cool and awesome, grandfather! Even if I never met you before, can I still miss you? I can right? I miss you grandfather. So, a little update for you okay? Your children are doing well, I think. But sometimes, they tend to distant themselves from each other. However, Your youngest son is still keeping his promise for you, to never break the family bond. I hope you are proud, he’s trying his best! He’s a great father, you know! I look up to him alot. My father achieved his dream and goal, now it’s my time to achieve mine. But sometimes, it’s sad, grandfather,my father is trying so hard to bond everyone but there are people who doesn’t want to, they prefer to isolate themselves. But what matters is effort and love right? By showing love and effort, perhaps one day they will want to be close with each other. Now, grandma? She’s doing well. Except, I think she’s a little sad that some of her children ... Read more

Hello, grandpa. I miss you alot. I hope you are well up there. I hope grandma is doing well too. You and grandma have been looking after me and my family from there right, grandpa? Anyways, I’m just writing to you because I miss you and sometimes I wish you were still here. I’m sure you will be proud of me to see how grown up I am. In 2 days, it will be my examination results. It determines on my future, grandpa. If you were still here, I’m sure you’ll pray for me so that I’ll do well right? And you will also advise me on not to worry too much because I tried my best. Your daughter told me that too. Mom is trying to not be worry about it but I’m sure she is worry like I am. I hope I did well on my exams. I love you, grandpa. Take care over there okay? Tell grandma I said hi too. I love you alot.

I know you’re not part of this and maybe you’re not even dead, maybe you are now just a grown man with kids and even grandchildren but I feel you’ll understand better. I tried, I really did, not to be like you but at the end it wasn’t up to me, my brain doesn’t work all that well and I have no control over that but I’ve been trying to make a few thing differently now. I’m trying to get out of this zone I’m always in, I still haven’t had the chance of actually leave it but now I guess I get peaks of the outside and It looks so beautiful but beautiful on way that is also scary, like a porcelain doll. I made a promise of living beyond what people expect, now they’re letting me drive but you can still see at the back of their eyes that fear of me crashing on purpose again (seriously, I won’t, whenever I feel like that I simply walk) but it’s a huge step, not for me but for them, they are trusting in me again and that’s a lot. Yesterday I had a rough night, but I guess I ... Read more

you were broken , you thought that life didn’t have a meaning anymore . You decided to end your life in order to have a better one . Some people have hope that everything in their life can be beautiful , and some people believe that things will never be okay . When i was eight years old my dad told me that i wasn’t always gonna be happy , and that i wasn’t always gonna be sad of course i didn’t know what he meant until i grew up . We all have hopes and we all have fears . You thought that your daughters life would be better without you in it right ? But you were wrong . You and me are very similar . We feel no purpose in living yet i’m still here writing you this love letter . I wasn’t always depressed but now that i know what it feels like , I know what you went through . I’m sorry you felt the need to take your life away , but if anything you made my life better and i can’t thank you enough .

you were broken , you thought that life didn’t have a meaning anymore . You decided to end your life in order to have a better one . Some people have hope that their life that they believe everything can be beautiful , and some people believe that things will never be okay . When i was eight years old my dad told me that i wasn’t always gonna be happy , and that i wasn’t always gonna be sad of course i didn’t know what he meant until i grew up . We all have hopes and we all have fears . You thought that your daughters life would be better without you in it right ? But you were wrong . You and me are very similar . We feel no purpose in living yet i’m still here writing you this love letter . I wasn’t always depressed but now that i know what it feels like , I know what you went through . I’m sorry you felt the need to take your life away , but if anything you made my life better and i can’t thank you enough .

I have a feeling you know what this letter is about. I can’t tell you how sorry I am that I never wrote you when I promised that I would. Has it really been 12 years? I can honestly say that not writing you when I promised has turned into my biggest regret ever. Remember when we used to write to each other when we were both in boot camp (east coast to west coast)? That was fun!

I want you to know how much I miss you. I think about you daily and feel that you are there when our song comes on. I picture us in the car singing along to it like we used to with the windows down and being our goofy selves.

I often see you in my dreams and almost always wake up in tears because you never speak to me. My only guess is that it is because you are waiting to speak to me when we see each other in heaven.

I hope this letter finds you well and PROMISE to continue to “write” you letters when you are on my ... Read more