"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

“I’ll never let you go,” I’ve looked back to that day in my English class and remember the horrified look on your face as I almost dropped you to the floor, but we both laughed at the thought of it. I think about the words I said as I held you, and the truth is I’ve taken them so dearly to my heat recently. I have never let you go and sadly I don’t want you. I’ve come to face the facts that it does get easier but I still am hoping that I do get to see you again because God I miss you so damn much, Cyd. I miss your voice and your laugh more than anything in the world right now. I miss the bus ride, I miss walking home with you. I miss having you so close. I wish to see you soon…I can’t take this anymore.

You became something that i can’t forget about . I think about you all the time people ask me why i am thinking about you , but excuse me people you don’t understand how i felt with her she made me forget my sadness and she replaced it with her happiness , i felt safe with her she would be the only one who can understand me too damn well , losing someone who was close to your heart is very hard its has no time to heal in it just hurts more and more every time you think about it , i can’t find and i won’t find anyone who can replace her place in my heart owning her in my heart was like owning the world it feels i want to hear your voice one more time that used to give me the type of happiness that i want to hear and her laughs were like music in my ears her warm tight hugs that used to save me from the world sadness i want to see her face that would usually brights my day i just want you to know that i miss you so much that i feel i can’t function no ... Read more

What makes you a bad person? When is it going to far? When do you go from insecure to insane? Or is there even a difference? I feel like the older I get, the more insecure I feel. When I look at the people who mean the world to me, I wonder why they even waste their time on me. I’m holding my breath, waiting for them to wake up, and realize they can do so much better. And then there’s her. She’s a bright star in a world so dark compared to her. She’s my sun, the one who I would be lost without. And she chose me. I still can’t believe it. It seems too good to be true. And the thing that terrifies me most in the world is losing her. So I do everything in my power to keep her.

Sometimes I disgust myself. The things I do so that the few friends I have don’t leave me. If I make them jealous, they’ll spend more time with me right? If I talk loudly to someone else, will I catch their attention? Will they come over to talk? If they’re talking to someone else, I’ll just casually ... Read more

It’s weird how the smallest things can make me miss you. I can hear someone hum and miss how you’d sing to me. I can hear someone laugh and miss the laughter that lit up your brown eyes. I can see a post-it note and miss the way you’d leave clever little jokes in my locker. I can see a couple hugging and miss the way you’d hold me. I miss the thump-thump-thump of your heart. I felt so safe in your arms, like nothing could ever harm me. I should have been holding you. I should have protected you…..I shouldn’t have let you leave that night. No, I should have went with you. Then maybe the car crash would have killed me and kept you safe. I hope you’re safe now, Eth. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when it happened, E. I miss you everyday, my baby boy. I hope you’re lighting up heaven with that contagious smile.

Ontem você fez 16 anos. Ou melhor, faria. Faz 6 meses que você se foi e ainda parece que não é real, que você apenas tirou umas férias desse mundo repleto de caos mas que a qualquer momento vai voltar. Mas você não vai. Esse ano tá sendo bem complicado. Mesmo quando você ainda estava por aqui, as coisas já estavam começando a dar errado. Depois só foi piorando. Minha familía estava mal, meus amigos estvam mal e eu também estava mal. E por mais que o ano esteja acabando, o universo (ou seja lá quem ou o quê for) não dá descanso. Eu preciso de férias. Não só da escola, mas da vida. Eu preciso poder olhar nos olhos das pessoas ao meu redor e não ver tanto sofrimento. Eu preciso de você. Mas eu sei que tudo vai dar mais certo. As coisas estão melhorando aos poucos com tempo e eu acho que ano que vem vai ser bem melhor (ou pelo menos é o que eu espero). Alguém me disse que você agora é o nosso anjinho e vai estar sempre cuidando de nós. ... Read more

I don’t know if you’re gonna read this or not but i want you to know that you’re missed a lot and i really love you. I love you a lot and i wish you were here with me right now because i need you. I really need you here besides me so that you can support me in school.

The last thing you said to me was “Ireally like your smile. It’s pretty on you. Keep it on while i’m up there looking down at you.” It was just before you took your life away from me. While i cried and told you not to do it. But it was already too late. We planed to go the same high school together and go the same thing. But at the beginning of 9th grade did you disappeared. Far away from me.

I still waiting for you. For you to come back to me. I wait for you on the same place where you left me broken down. I love you, Albin.

This letter would’ve been longer if I hadn’t left the site to do something. I wrote some stuff. Wrote some stuff that would’ve made you sad. It’s all disappeared now. I’m kinda disappointed, but whatever. I don’t think that people would want to see that kind of personal information. What I wrote was all about the past. Things that had happened when you were with us. Mostly all the bad things. I wrote them because they’ve been weighing down my chest for far too long that I needed to write it down. Well I guess it’s for the best that it should be kept and not shared.

Thing’s have been tough lately… Oh. I don’t know if you already know, but two years ago we removed the dirty carpet. It was replaced by lenolium tiles, but unfortunately they were cheap and they got torn off the floor. We removed them all a few months later when it got totally worn off. In the bedroom, however, the lenolium tiles stayed. We constantly need to wear slippers now since all that was left is a dirty concrete floor (in which I still walk on with my bare feet when my slippers went ... Read more

This letter would’ve been longer if I hadn’t left the site to do something. I wrote some stuff. Wrote some stuff that would’ve made you sad. It’s all disappeared now. I’m kinda disappointed, but whatever. I don’t think that people would want to see that kind of personal information. What I wrote was all about the past. Things that had happened when you were with us. Mostly all the bad things. I wrote them because they’ve been weighing down my chest for far too long that I needed to write it down.

Thing’s have been tough lately… Oh. I don’t know if you already know, but two years ago we removed the dirty carpet. It was replaced by lenolium tiles, but unfortunately they were cheap and they got torn off the floor. We removed them all a few months later when it got totally worn off. In the bedroom, however, the lenolium tiles stayed. We constantly need to wear slippers now since all that was left is a dirty concrete floor (in which I still walk on with my bare feet when my slippers went missing). It was sorta sad that the carpet was gone. We had our first steps ... Read more

This letter would’ve been longer if I hadn’t left the site to do something. I wrote some stuff. Wrote some stuff that would’ve made you sad. It’s all disappeared now. I’m kinda disappointed, but whatever. I don’t think that people would want to see that kind of personal information. What I wrote was all about the past. Things that had happened when you were with us. Mostly all the bad things. I wrote them because they’ve been weighing down my chest for far too long that I needed to write it down.

Thing’s have been tough lately… Oh. I don’t know if you already know, but two years ago we removed the dirty carpet. It was replaced by lenolium tiles, but unfortunately they were cheap and they got torn off the floor. We removed them all a few months later when it got totally worn off. In the bedroom, however, the lenolium tiles stayed. We constantly need to wear slippers now since all that was left is a dirty concrete floor (in which I still walk on with my bare feet when my slippers went missing). It was sorta sad that the carpet was gone. We had our first steps ... Read more

This letter would’ve been longer if I hadn’t left the site to do something. I wrote some stuff. Wrote some stuff that would’ve made you sad. It’s all disappeared now. I’m kinda disappointed, but whatever. I don’t think that people would want to see that kind of personal information. What I wrote was all about the past. Things that had happened when you were with us. Mostly all the bad things. I wrote them because they’ve been weighing down my chest for far too long that I needed to write it down.

Thing’s have been tough lately… Oh. I don’t know if you already know, but two years ago we removed the dirty carpet. It was replaced by lenolium tiles, but unfortunately they were cheap and they got torn off the floor. We removed them all a few months later when it got totally worn off. In the bedroom, however, the lenolium tiles stayed. We constantly need to wear slippers now since all that was left is a dirty concrete floor (in which I still walk on with my bare feet when my slippers went missing). It was sorta sad that the carpet was gone. We had our first steps ... Read more