"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

You have hurt me. You have hurt me so much. I thought you were better than the boys I know, but you aren’t. Maybe you’re even worse than they are. We texted a lot, and I liked it to text with you. You told me I was special. You made me feel special. You made me laugh when I didn’t want to laugh anymore. No one can make me laugh when I don’t want to, but you did it. You let me laugh again. I was upset because of someone, and you listened to me, and you told me he doesn’t deserve a girl like me. You said you wouldn’t treat me like that. And again, you let me feel like I was special. You said you wanted to be with me. You wanted to hug me. I wanted the same. So we met. And when I saw you, I was like, you are even better than you were when we texted. You looked handsome, and you were sweet. You told me I was a pretty girl. I had a really great time with you that you were with me, but if I knew I was good enough for you for just one ... Read more

i was lost until now. A new peculiar friend helped me to relize that. I did not know who I am, and I could be a bit jelous and insecure because of that. She thinks like me and I love it.

if she were a boy I totally would fall in love with her. but no. it is a shame.

i miss you a lot.

I wrote a letter to you on here on January 10th. I am reading Love Letters to the Dead again and I always think of you. I miss you so much. I am sitting in English right now. I almost started crying when I thought of us. You are still my best friend. I hope you can come visit me in a dream sometime soon. I would love that. I love you. I wish I could have at least one more day with you. We could just talk. We would talk about anything and everything because you are my best friend. I love you, Papa. Please let me know that you are okay. Tell me what it is like to be where you are. We will see each other again. We just have to be patient. I know that you are watching over me. Thank you for that. I have to go now, Papa. Writing this has made me feel a little better. I love you so much. I will talk to you later. ❤️

Te extraño demasiado, no tengo palabras para describir cuánto te extraño, simplemente me es tan complicado hablar con cualquier persona cuando me preguntan “¿Y tu mamá?” “¿Dónde está?”. Sé que no me abandonaste, sé que nunca lo harías, pero a veces se siente como si fuera así, realmente te necesito, creo que a esta edad, lo que más necesita una niña es el apoyo constante de su madre. Quisiera que estuvieras conmigo, usualmente en mi día a día pasan cosas que quisiera compartir contigo, e incluso me detengo y pienso: “Qué genial sería que mi madre estuviera aquí” “Cuánto deseo contarle esto a mi mamá”, y por más que lo desee, no estás aquí, no estás conmigo; nunca hemos ido juntas a comprar un vestido, el cual me ayudarías a escoger, y dirías algo como “Te queda bellísimo, claro, pues te pareces a tu madre”, no estuviste mi primer día en el bachillerato, no sabes cuán aterrada estaba, sólo necesitaba que aparecieras, me dieras un abrazo y dijeras: “Sé valiente, tú eres fuerte, puedes contra ello”, pero no sucedió, mami. No estuviste ahí el primer día que alguien me molesto en la escuela, no estuviste para decirme que sólo me ... Read more

i miss you… mom does too. she cried a lot the day you left us and the anniversary of your death… exactly a month before my birthday… the house was really quiet when we had heard the news… we wish we got more time with you… but we lived so far apart it was hard for us… i wish i had gotten to tell you about everything that has happened… i wish i could’ve told at least you about what he did to me…. but no one would believe me… we miss you… we enjoy seeing pretty sights and saying “if grandpa were here, he’d make us pull over so he could get a picture” you were so passionate about your photos… i was heartbroken when youu sold your camera because you couldn’t take those pictures anymore… i’m sorry cancer took you away from us… we all miss you… hailey, mom, and grandma all cried when we visited you last month… i’m sorry i don’t cry for you. i find it really hard for me to cry… i wish i could cry… it would help show i miss you…

It’s been about a year or two since you’ve been gone…Everyone misses you. So do I…but i wish i could’ve given more love to you. The day you left the school director came and took my phone, ii thought nothing of it at the time. i thought you’d out live the doctors predictions and survive once again. Later that day when I got my phone and got home i found out the news. I didn’t cry, i didn’t talk, i was shocked of course but it didn’t hit me as hard as it hit daddy, or our sisters.I don’t know if my lack of emotion towards you was because i never got to get to know the real you. I wish i could’ve because now your gone and i won’t ever get too. It hurts me now that your gone, i never got to know my big brother but i know your watching over me now. I love you and i’m sorry….

Te amo tanto, espero que allá donde estás sepas que lo hago y que estoy tan arrepentida por todo, nunca voy a dejar de estarlo. Me mata saber que por mi culpa nunca voy a poder tocar tu piel, escucharte hablar o verte crecer. Recuerdo cuando supe que nacerías, estaba tan feliz, demasiado, pero nunca debí estarlo, nunca debí orar a Dios para que nacieras en vez de que te protegiera en el interior de tu mamá. Sé que no fui yo la que estuvo con un hombre malo y violento, y que ocultaba sus heridas y se mostraba feliz porque simplemente estaba loca, pero era igual de responsable que ella, siempre supe todo, y nunca dije nada. Lo hice por ella, yo era su caja de secretos y me sentía tan bien de que pudiera confiarme sus cosas que incluso cuando un día tu abuela me preguntó si había algo malo en la relación de ella y el chico, yo lo negué. Yo era la única que lo sabía todo y podía hacer algo, pero mi mente estaba bloqueada, sólo pensaba en la confianza de mi hermana, y he aquí sus consecuencias. Siempre he creído que hasta cierta edad, yo ... Read more

I know I don’t fully understand the situation that you were in. And I know that there are a lot of things that I don’t know. But I do know that I miss you and Paw Paw very much. I’m not going to say that your death was the full cause of my depression, but I do think it played a big part in it, without me even knowing at the time. I was only in the third grade when you died, so I didn’t know any better. But in all honesty, I still don’t think I understand why I’m depressed. Sometimes I just get sad for no reason. And my mood depletes. Maybe I still have things to figure out. But, I just want you to know I love you so much. And miss you like crazy. I miss how you used to spoil me because I was your only neice. And you would call me often just to check in. Like I said, I don’t know the full story, but I do miss you. Love you Aunt Tina.

You were my role model, my everything, my inspiration. When you died 7 years ago I couldn’t cope with the pain. I told myself I would be strong for you when I grabbed the razor blade and cut. I miss you everyday. I know it was your time, but I loved you. Every time you would color with me ,and you would color in circles and I would get mad and show you how to really color. I know this isn’t long but I still love you and right now I’m going through a tough time and I just need your help. Please grandpa tell me you love me one more time, hug me one more time, and tell me to never give up my fight. I love you till I die and even throughout then.

I loved everyone of you with every fiber of my being and in the end almost none of you was left. We all drifted apart, made promises none of us could keep and still to this day I miss you and all the things that could´ve been. Sometimes I wonder if it was something wrong with me, or is. But things are getting better and I make new friends whom I know I will have a better friendship with than anyone of you. I still miss you though, probably will for a long time. Goodbye lost frienships, we had a good run which I could only hope would last a bit longer.