"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I told you I’m reading a book that’s sadder than I thought it would be but in a beautiful way. Well, in the back of the book the (amazing) author was so kind as to create a website like this where the readers can go to talk to someone who is gone… Now, I know haven’t lost you yet but I can feel that it’s coming. Something inside of me is telling me our end is near and although I’m sad, I want you to know that it’s okay. I know you don’t want to hurt me but in things like this someone is always hurt, and I’d rather it be me a million times over. Whatever the reason, it’s okay, I promise. Just know I love you and these past almost 10 months have been filled with our highs and lows and I’m grateful for everyone of them. Take care of yourself, please.

We haven’t spoken in weeks, and we never will again. The days spent with you are dead, dead to me, at least. Enough happened in the span of your wings that I should hate you. I can’t hate you. I’m trying hard to hate you, so hard that my eyes can hardly see straight, but I can’t hate you. I wish you never did what you did to me. You led to my demise, and honestly I felt like Kurt Cobain spiraling down a path of drug dependency and dirty apartments and unwashed hair. Sophomore year, you were a dark tunnel and I was on my hands and knees, desperate to get to the other side but thinking if I just coped various ways it would be like I had made it. Your dishonesty and trickery has left me a fragile shell of a person and I’m slowly trying to rebuild what you destroyed. But you were good, so good, in a sweet way that stings because it’s not actually sweet. You opened up doors to me. Sylvia Plath. My own dependency upon others. I hope you know that I hate you when the sky is overcast, but I love ... Read more

I’m not quite sure where I stand with you, I haven’t spoken to you in months yet I still hope that you come up to me like you used to. I don’t know if you still feel that way. I feel like we missed each other. You may or may not have had your crush on me in yr7 but that was when I barely concidered looking at you as a friend. Now, over time I don’t like to admit that I have grown a crush on you and its really nagging away at me inside. I want it to go because every time I look at you I feel it and I don’t think you feel that way anymore. I f you do I want to tell you. I want to be with you, I want to feel loved. Now that I like you, maybe you’ve moved on. To other people I’m really quiet and probably come across as snobby and uninterested and nerdy. I hope you don’t see me like that because thats just my outer layer, my protection from the world. I want you to see my inside. Whatever ... Read more

I was so drawn into your book that I completed it in one day. I have lost people in my life, but I was more drawn to Laurel’s need to let go of the past and open up about what happened to her. Your book has stayed with me since I finished it.

In between the black and white is the grey. In the heart of the grey is purpose. In purpose, your book is found. Thank you.

I’m merely a reader of this magical novel by Ava and I’ve fallen in love with you like so many others. Laurel’s letters make me believe that there is hope for something after death, that you’ve gone to some sort of heaven. I’m not quite as religious as Aunt Amy, but I do believe that there is more to our lives after we go. You and Laurel make me believe not only in this but that there is hope for those that live to see death. We can be okay again.

I never really knew you. When I was younger, I used to pretend that you had to leave Mom, Laura, Cam, and I because you were secretly a government agent and were out there in the world doing cool spy things, but you’d always come back for my music recitals and be watching somewhere within the crowd, proud of me. It’s a nice thought. Better than believing that you just abandoned your family because of the drugs and booze. I still don’t understand how someone could chose that life over your wife, daughters, and son. I honestly don’t get why substances that can hold that kind of power and control over someone are allowed to exist. I wish they didn’t so I wouldn’t have to imagine what our lives would have been like. I’m not angry anymore. I’m not even that sad. I feel bad for you. That you let something control your life so fully that you ended up missing out on so much awesomeness that is my family. Your would-have-been family. I just wanted to say that I forgive you because as of yesterday I have finished my first year of high school. I’m a Sophomore now. ... Read more

I can’t remember your voice. Why can’t I remember your voice? Why can’t I remember your stories and jokes? My memories of you, they are slipping away like the mist off of the mountains. You were the only one I had besides Skye. It has been 9 long years as of June 12th. I cant comprehend that. Each year flies by faster and faster. I was 8 when you died. I am so jealous that Skye has more memories of you because she was older. I only remember the sick years. The two last before cancer stole you from us. I just graduated high school. You always said you would be there, but I know it isn’t your fault that you are not. And in February Skye got married. She opted to walk down the aisle alone because you were not there to give her away. I wish I could have experienced a normal childhood, one with a mother and a living father and no abusive uncles or loving grandparents. All of these people I have been living with since your death. Bouncing around from family member to family member ... Read more

I think it’s quite sad that we only had a few days with each other. I liked you a lot and I which I had stayed in touch with you. It was hard for me when A told me that you had killed yourself a few months after we met and it was even harder when she told me that you had been planning it for so long. I just hope that you are fine wherever you are and thank you for showing me how important it is to talk to the people you like because they could be gone tomorrow.

I think it’s quite sad that we only had a few days with each other. I liked you a lot and I which I had stayed in touch with you. It was hard for me when A told me that you had killed yourself a few months after we met and it was even harder when she told me that you had been planning it for so long. I just hope that you are fine wherever you are and thank you for showing me how important it is to talk to the people you like because they could be gone tomorrow.