"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

It has been 9 years since you left us. And I still can’t believe I managed to survive in this cruel world without you — somehow. You were my best companion when I was a kid, including Lolo. Lolo and you were the one who taught me almost all the things needed to be a decent person I am today. Dad, mum, and I are in Canada now. Your birthday’s right at the tip of my nose, and I badly want to visit your grave. But I guess, my prayers are strong enough for you to hear. Send my regards to Lolo! I know you guys are in God’s perfect hands now. I love you po 🙂

Why? Why? Why? Why? if you knew you were going to take your own life that awful night why did you shoot at the Deputys? Why did you shoot and KILL my hero Deputy Carl Koontz and wound Sargent Jordan Buckley only to turn around and take your own life? Do you not understand how much Koontz meant to this town? Do you realize you killed a cop over a stupid warrant that had to do with drugs. DRUGS. You took so much away from this town because you were the pussy who didn’t want to go back to jail. Word of advice. If you didn’t want to go back to jail maybe you should of stayed out of trouble. Just a thought though. Instead you took a dad away from his son, a husband away from his wife, a brother from his sister and a child from his parents. How does that make you feel? I hope you feel awful, I hope you are paying for what you did. You make me sick. You make me want to scream. You make me want to loose my mind. But I wont. I wont because Koontz wouldn’t want it. To ... Read more

i have spent most of my childhood with you and you was gone when i still was little .at some moments i really miss you i never had a chance to talk to you when i was in my senses i never saw u clearly i never had my teenager life with you when a girl needs her dad the most…i love you and i will always remember you..you are with me now and you will be..forever <3

I feel like often when someone passes, people use types of expression like “you would like up a room with your laughter”… And I always would scan through these types of statements without truly feeling what they meant. When you passed, I couldn’t attend your furneral and for that I am sorry. I don’t understand how all the people so close to you could stand there and be so brave and face that you were gone. I couldn’t. I sent my apologies for my absence and tried to forget. After a few days I realized I couldn’t go on without awknowledging you, so I planned a candle lighting for you. So many people showed up that in the middle of them admiring the posters I had made for you, I had to get away. I left and drove in circles and came back. I will never understand why it had to be you to go so soon. I now understood what it meant to realize the expressions about a persons laughter. It took me some time to see that I was spending more time reflecting and asking why then just being thankful to have had you in my life ... Read more

I’ve been frequently thinking about you lately. Of course I miss you.I’m sure everyone misses you. I just had a thought that you died peacefully on 2005. I was only 5 years old. So little. I knew so little about the world. I’m actually sad about how I got to know you with so little time. But that little little time is very precious to me. You know grandpa, Sometimes I see my friends or strangers hanging out with their grandfather, I get jealous Sometimes. I don’t have any grandfather left. But it’s okay. I understand, God loves you more than I do. I love love you okay? I hope you are doing well up there. All the love. X

No, you’re not dead or missing, just missing from my life… Not truly there, MIA… Here, but somewhere else. Today I am having a day of silence.. Why? To recognize those in the LGBT+ Community for being who they are…

I can’t be who I am with you; a sad, conflicted bisexual who runs away from their problems. For being classified as “emo” for liking what I like. I’m a “fag.”

I don’t understand what I’m feeling. It’s kind of hard to put to words. It’s been two years since you took your life and I’ve done a lot of thinking since then. The night you took your life, you told me you loved me and I thought it was the craziest thing in the world. Why would someone ever love me? Why you of all people? I thought a lot about the few months we were friends and I finally realized something I should’ve a long time ago. I was in love with you. I can’t even believe I’m admitting this. The night you took your life you verbally abused me so I don’t understand why I’d ever admit this fact. But the key word in that statement, is fact. I was in love with you. After all the crap I’m going through because of you, I’m still able to say that. I haven’t loved another soul after you and I don’t think I ever will. My heart shattered to the point where I don’t think it can be mended. This makes me question why I’m writing this letter. It seems stupid. You ended up being the reason for my parents ... Read more

it was too soon. no one realized that your last album was a letter. a letter telling all the ones you loved not to cry. i cried. i sat in my room all day and replayed all of the records of yours that i own i watched all of your videos on youtube i rented all of your movies on amazon. i even painted my face with your signature lightning bolt. i miss your wailing voice. i miss the eye that didnt mach the other. i miss the way your voice was the last thing i heard at night, and the first thing i heard in the morning.

when did you deside, to pack up and leave. did you even think? or did you just do it? after all, you did say “its better to burn out than to fade away” i wonder what you are doing now. say hi to amy for me

i miss you. i need you. i cant understand why you would just get up and leave me. you were my first love, and my last. you taught me that kids are still depressed when you dress them up, and syrup is still syrup in a sippy cup. please come back to me.