"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

You are not dead, but it sure feels like you aren’t living in my life. I still remember the day you told me you were moving, it was in the summer of 4th grade. We had been best friends for about 5 years, and I was heart broken that you were leaving. You kept in touch a lot though, and every opportunity you got, you invited me over for sleepovers. Every year that I came I would feel more distant from you, in my head I thought it made sense because you had a whole new life, new friends and new everything. But everything changed one summer. I still remember that day when I slept over at your house, we had such a good time. Everything was going so well, until the last day you decided that even though I can only visit once a year, you wanted to hang out with your crush and his friends. You wanted to drag me along to hang out with people I didn’t even know, and didn’t want to know. You may have thought I was being extremely difficult, but I just wanted to spend my last day with you. I don’t ... Read more

Wow I don’t really know where to start. I guess I should start out by saying how much I miss you. I miss you more than I thought possible. It’s a pain that never really goes away…and people say time heals everything but it’s been 10 years and I still hurt like hell. Although I’m handling it better than I used to. I’ll be 18 in a few weeks and it’s crazy to think you won’t be here to see me graduate and go to college. I’d like to think you would be proud of me if you were still here. You were my everything. I was definitely a daddy’s girl even if it was only for those 8 short years. I remember you like it was yesterday that we were taking our nightly walks in Petersburg. I was young but I still remember so many little details…they haunt me actually. I cannot describe how much it hurts to not have you here with me. It honestly fucked me up quite a bit. I’m coping now though. I’ve realized that if I hold on to this grief forever it will only prevent me from finding happiness. It helps to type ... Read more

So you aren’t really gone….but sometimes I feel like you’re gone from my life. You told me to read this book, actually handed me the book and told me to read it. So like every other thing you have suggested to me, I did, and like everything else, I loved it. I met you under the worst possible circumstance, but I also didn’t realize how much I would end up liking you either. When I started this job I understood that I wasn’t allowed to pursue a relationship with anyone within the same store. I had this mindset that I wouldn’t like anyone that way it would make everything easier. However, as time passed, and I grew to know you more….I couldn’t help myself. I constantly caught myself looking at you, smiling when you walked by. My heart nearly stopped every time you hugged me. Right now, in this moment, I can still imagine the way you smell like home, safe. When I finally gained the courage to tell you of my feelings, you told me you felt the same way, which ultimately, in the end, sent me into a downward spiral because of the way it has all ... Read more

You know I’m glad that I let you go. I’m glad that I shed off all the old peices of myself to show I’m ready to fix myself. I’m ready to take all the peices you destroyed of your own self and piece them together for good. I’m ready to take all that depression and anxiety and make them memories. I’m finally ready to learn how to love myself. I have accepted that the only reason I’m not happy is because of myself. I’m tired of lying awake at night wanting to end it all. I’m tired of want to be vulnerable just so people would pay attention to me. I’m tired of being lonely.I’m tired of hating myself. I’m tired of being to fearful of the world to step out and see it for myself. I am going to follow my dreams. I’m going to make a YouTube and talk to tht camera as much s I want and Imight not get famous, but who cares. I don’t want my own fear to hold my back from something that I’ve wanted for so long. I’m going to put myself out there and show who I truly am. I’m going ... Read more

Driving home is never the same, each part of the road reminds me of that day, the day you left to be with nan. Each bend hurts and each straight stretch of road brings tears of sadness and memories which can never be taken away, i try to remember those good days but then the closer to home i get the harder it is to forget the day you left. They say that if you have ever had true love and lost it the heartache is unbearable but i think the most unbearable heartache is the day i lost you. There isn’t a day that hasn’t gone by where I haven’t thought of you. Maybe my heart will heal a little but you left such an impact maybe even footprint in my life i find it hard to believe it will never stop hurting. You were our family tree, your roots are in us . “A limp as fallen from our family tree, grieve not for me, remember the good times the memories we made, for i have lived a good life, A limp as fallen from our family tree grieve not for me” xxxxx

I remember everything we ever did together. Even the bad memories, it keeps me going. I wish i got to know you better, i was only 12 and you and mom were divorced by time i was 1 years old. My brothers got a father but I didn’t. It breaks my heart seeing daughters together with their dad. It makes me mad because i don’t have mine. It’s been 6 years now. It gets harder everyday but I’m getting through it, it may be hard but that’s what makes me stronger, right? I hope so because I don’t know how many nights I’ve cried myself to sleep missing you, wanting you back. I miss you sosososo much and love you so very much.

Hey, how are you? It’s been 8 months since i read Love Letter to the Dead, and on that time the book helped me, made me feel like there was still hope, but a lot of awful things happened after that, and now i’m lost again. I don’t know who i am, who am i supposed to become, where do i a go now? What i do? I don’t know, i just… I feel so lonely all the time, it’s like i’m the only person in the world, i can’t talk to anybody about what i feel. I don’t hate life, i hate me. I hate people. Because they are always mean. All I lived and saw , always noticed more bad people than good, so what’s the purpose? My mother is really a good person, the best i’ve ever known and all of her life was a shit. Why? Why we have to suffer so much? What’s the purpose? Please someone tell me. I just… I wanted to find someone, ANYONE, who would understand me, what i feel, someone that would say to me and make me believe that i am not alone. But i doubt that this person ... Read more

I remember being little, yet I can’t remember you. I can remember the first time I tied my own shoelaces, the first time I went to an amusement park, the first time I did anything. But I don’t remember you. I was two when you died, and sometimes that’s hard because everyone else who misses you got to know you and love you, but I didn’t. I love you in a way that’s different than everyone else. I love you for all those times you tucked me in at night, for all those times you played with me, for being the model big sister that every little girl wants to have growing up. But I had you for two years, and then you were gone. Death is weird like that. One minute, everything is going great and then you get a huge punch in the gut from reality reminding you that nothing lasts forever and nothing ever stays. Nothing is forever. Sometimes I think about death and what happens after we die. I like to think that there is a better place we move onto from here, where it is always sunny and people have smiles on their faces. Sometimes ... Read more

I hope your happy wherever you are, I just want to say that I miss you so much and you didn’t deserve the things that happened to you. I want you to know that I would have been there for you, I would have helped you and it’s too late and am so sorry we all failed you… I love you and hope your happy now.

Wow. It’s been forever hasn’t it? Mom lied to me about the way you died – it was probably just for protection and I know she didn’t mean to lie but it was probably better for me anyways – I was young when it happened. I remember the night my dad told me the truth – which frankly my mom doesn’t know about – still. I want to ask her about it but I’m too afraid she’ll get upset. I mentioned you in therapy a while ago – I would rather talk to you anyways. I don’t remember a lot about you – my dad didn’t like you that much he didn’t like grandma either – he said it was your fault you two split apart. I don’t think it was your fault. I remembered how kind you were – how caring – I was young and I’d occasionally spill things on your carpet – it’s probably my most vivid memory of you – I remember spilling Coke or some type of soda on your carpet – my mom instantly yelled at me – told me how I wasn’t careful enough and when I started to cry you got ... Read more