"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

13 years with you wasn’t enough time. i miss you every hour of every day. not only am i grieving you, i’m also grieving the person i would of been if you didn’t die. give daddy & mimi a hug for me. i love you so much.

I really really miss you. I miss you, and I hate how I have forgotten some of our memories. It has only been a couple years, but… I forgot. God I am so mad at myself for forgetting, and I can’t believe I have forgotten. I miss you letting me sit on your lap in your chair. I miss you even when you had to pull that splinter out of my foot and I started bawling. It didn’t really hurt at least not that bad. I just wanted to get attention from you I guess Grandpa has a new lady friend. I don’t know if you would like her, but I domt think you would hate her either. Well, except for the fact I know she says Mary. I don’t know what else to say here, but I just miss you. Oh, and mom and dad got divorced. It really hasn’t been easy. Me and mom moved into our new house on January 1st 2022. that would have been a few months short of you being gone for 2 years. I’m writing this on December 31st at about 11pm. Almost a new year… yay. That just means it’s a new ... Read more

You may still be physically alive, but I’m sure the version of you I knew died long ago. You have left me with a sea of ​​questions and insecurities, I was blinded and could not see the knife that was approaching my heart.

I always wanted to understand you, but I never managed to. You periodically changed your own words and confused me more, made me feel guilty and idiotic. Despite that, I kept trying with you, because I wanted it to be with you. That was my mistake, not accepting that you were not ready for something like that, I believed your sweet words that you told me in the midst of the ecstasy of falling in love and then I could not understand your sudden change when experiencing the fear of what could happen.

I brought this harm on myself by insisting, but you caused it with your jerky caresses that hurt my heart. Although now every time our eyes meet they only express rejection or melancholy, I have to admit that I still see you as beautiful as the first time, as beautiful as when I said “I want to do it right this time”.

Everyone tells me that it’s not my fault ... Read more

I thought about you a lot. I wonder what you felt in your last moments. Did you see me ? We never got to know each other that well. I feel bad. You were so happy. So perfect. So beautiful .I wonder what went wrong. Do you hate me for forgetting about you ? It’s lonely without you around. I moved to away. Everything’s new and I feel out of place. Is that how you felt meeting me for the first time ? I know I shouldn’t even be writing this letter. We weren’t even best friends or anything. I just hope you’re in a better place. Maybe you were too good for this world.

I miss you, everyday I wish you could be here with me and my milestones. Me and my husband recently had kids I know you said we were too young to get married let alone have kids but you would have loved them. We named our son rico after you, I really miss you your birthday wasn’t that long ago we celebrated like we have everyday since your death. Reading this book reminded me of all the letters I sent to you all the ones in my dresser. I hope you get them and I hope you get to read them. I have to go, now the kids are calling me.

I love you.

I don’t know what to say to you, you are the only person that I got love from. You know that I lived away from home from the start, I never feel loved nor any affection. Only you are my friend and my family. Sorry for not crying after you died, I think I am heartless as you always say. You don’t deserve the pain from the start till the end. Thank you for everything, Miss you Love you

I am now going to therapy and I’m finally safe. I know life was hard for you, with my mother and everything. But I wrote this letter to let you know that you’re okay. You’re going to survive. I know there were moments where you felt like this horrible feeling will last forever. It won’t. Your mom can’t hurt you anymore. Strangers on the internet can’t hurt you anymore. Your dad is improving and I’m genuinely so happy that he is. I know you feel hopeless and worthless and you just want to sleep forever, but you’re okay. I’m not living with my mom anymore. I’m so sorry you had to live through all of that verbal and physical abuse. I’m so sorry. You felt like you were worth nothing if you didn’t make her happy. I’ve been there. And I’m so sorry you hated yourself and almost wanted to die. I’m so sorry your mother hit you and shouted at you. I’m sorry she touched you in ways that made you uncomfortable. I’m so sorry that people on the internet told you that death is the solution. And you actually considered it. You were just 10! After your ... Read more

It’s been 3 years since you are gone. I missed you more than everything. I missed playing with your fluffy hair, watch movies together. Now you are gone. I had to move on. So i got a new bf. After your death I started to hate doctors. I hope you are happy now.I don’t have so many things to say… I am grewing my hair out! I am doing workouts everyday. I’m following your guide… I wish you were here and were able to see these.

It’s been 3 years since you are gone. I missed you more than everything. I missed playing with your fluffy hair, watch movies together. Now you are gone. I had to move on. So i got a new bf. After your death I started to hate doctors. I hope you are happy now.I don’t have so many things to say… I am grewing my hair out! I am doing workouts everyday. I’m following your guide… I wish you were here and were able to see these.

Next year it will be 10 years since you have been gone, So much has happened. After you passed mom stopped paying the rent and didn’t tell anyone about it, so the cops came and removed all 4 of us and all four cats from the house. Our belongings were on the street and I could only find temporary homes for 2 of the cats so the other two went to a shelter, As if losing you wasn’t hard enough. Scott and I moved by Shannon in fox lake. We weren’t there long. While I was there a co worker of mine gave me Heroin for the first time, it made me sick and I wasn’t sure about it, but I’d end up going back to it. When mom didn’t enroll Will in school the year after you passed, I ended up having Mom sign custody of will over to me so that I could make sure will had a stable place to make it thru High school. You guys had him out of school for 6 years at that point I felt any longer and he would have been crippled. After you passed she completely went off the ... Read more