"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Eu estava apaixonada (!) e isso me rendeu um coração quebrado por algumas semanas, mas faz parte de viver de verdade, então não me arrependo. Valeu a pena!

Depois encontrei alguém que você também conheceu há muito tempo, alguém especial que está muito machucada pela vida e pelas pessoas e, como um porco espinho em alerta, só sabe machucar. Tudo bem, só desejo que a vida seja mais gentil com ela e com isso ela consiga ser também. Não me arrependo dos momentos vividos com ela, a guardarei com carinho.

Ela é um tópico sensível ainda, mesmo após tantos anos. Espero um dia conseguir estar perto dela sem sentir tanto (e sem gay panic!). Não sei quando vamos nos ver novamente, mas tenho uma missão importante para quando isso acontecer que talvez complique ainda mais a minha situação, porém o que é um peido para quem já está etc.

Acredito cada dia mais que eu sou lésbica mesmo, mas isso não me impediu de fazer uma cachorrice em honra a minha versão pré-adolescente, ela está realizada hahaha. Assim sendo, estou me permitindo conhecer outras pessoas e tentando me interessar por elas, veremos.

I think tomorrow is the big day for our best friend, and I honestly don’t think I’ll be able to come. There’s just a lot going on in my plate right now, and I feel like going out isn’t really helping, especially since I’m not comfortable hanging out and being asked about what’s going on with my life when, honestly, I still don’t know what I’m doing right now.

I’m really sorry, and I feel guilty that I won’t be there. I hope you know that it’s not because I don’t care or that I’m not happy for her. I’m genuinely so proud of her for holding on to that dream and never letting it go. She deserves this moment, and I’ll always be cheering for her, even if I can’t be there tomorrow. ❤️

Life keeps going. This is something I did not think was possible when you passed. You made such an impact on my life, that now I recall memories by saying Before You or After You. I keep all the memories of During You to myself because I cherish them so much and don’t want anyone to taint them. Your kids are all grown up now, one is 18 and the other 17. Crazy to think that they were 3 and 4 when you passed. I am married, 3 kids, homeowner and business owner. The last time you saw me I was just a little brat, that only ever wanted to spend time with you. You helped me get through the first stage of my parents divorce, and then the rest just went downhill once you were diagnosed with cancer. Life got so hard that I thought I would be gone first. Then we got into an argument and I never got to say goodbye. I do think that has kept me at an emotional standstill. I was able to open up enough to meet and fall in love with my now husband, but I can never fully talk about my ... Read more

It’s been a month and a half since I saw you for the last time, I knew it would be the last time, I remember telling you that come monday you wouldn’t have to worry about this mess, that was a friday, you just said it was ok, not knowing it was me saying goodbye forever, I just didn’t have the courage to say goodbye, I was so broken for everything that happened that day, including you saying you didn’t want to be my friend anymore, that hurt me so bad because I never thought you would saying, not after everything we went through, from gossiping around to helping you fix your bike or holding you while you were crying for someone else, like, I was there for you, and in the end I was the bad guy, I’m still mad at you, at me, at everything that happened, it wasn’t easy for me to say this would be the last time I’d see you, never thought it would be, I never wanted to leave, you were my best friend, you were the reason for me to wake up everyday and walk happily to work, for once I actually ... Read more

Its been 5 years , wow, I cant believe i haven’t seen you since 8 years ago though. Though we weren’t the closest, I really looked up to you as a person and as a grandfather. Though we did not meet often or even speak much, your presence in my life meant a lot to me and I am very grateful to have met you in my lifetime. Missing you a lot.

Eu vou casar com ela. Não agora, mas em alguns anos, eu vou. O plano de esperar ela se formar vai por água abaixo em alguns meses e nós duas sabemos disso. Não estou completamente apaixonada, mas depois da última vez que nos vimos, eu sei que vai acontecer. Talvez eu esteja muito enganada e me ferre, mas vai ter válido a pena. Ela vale a pena. Minha Clarice Falcão de sorriso doce e corpo quentinho (e uma grande gostosa!).

Conheci um novo alguém, de olhos azuis, as sardinhas mais lindas que já vi e um lindo sorriso, que vejo sempre que falo a maior aleatoriedade que me vem a mente. De todas as pessoas que conheci no último ano, sinto que ela é a mais parecida comigo de uma maneira estranha. Talvez seja por termos alguns gostos parecidos e ela ser extrovertida (e atacante também!).

Estou viciada nela. E ela em mim. Porém, a ideia é não namorar até nos formarmos, que deve acontecer no final do ano. Ela nunca namorou e eu estou feliz com a minha vida como está, então vamos ver como isso vai funcionar. Apesar de ter um palpite quanto a isso, que envolve eu estando muito apaixonada por ela em algum tempo.

Agora você faz parte da decoração do meu novo apartamento, que modéstia a parte, está muito maneiro. Você mudou o rumo da minha vida e, hoje em dia, eu estou feliz, mas me pergunto como teria sido se você não tivesse feito o que fez. Eu sem dúvidas teria sentido menos dor. Te amo, Taz. Muita luz para ti e manda um beijo para vó.

It’s been a long time since we met, more than 8 years. I still remember the young and small white boy that wanted to love me. You married me and did everything to keep me close because you loved me. In my memories I still have the young egotistic moments. I want to tell you that I have not experienced innocent love or children’s love but rather I’ve learned to love love in a philosophical way. I think of love as literature but avoid the experience. When young, I was doubtful of your promise for us being together. Then you left me behind. I felt hurt in the moment. It is okay we separated when we were children.

Hope the United States or Oklahoma treats you well.

It’s been a long time. I’ve lost memories of when I was young, maybe with a better future. I’ve had challenging experiences that have changed me again. I’m writing this letter to the people that have been through my life. I don’t know how to feel after being aware of everything being lost and as if the past still lingers and stays there.

You are just next door, but we’re grow so different, we don’t often behave like other sisters. I remember a time , when we were young and you were my favorite person in the world. And I believe I was yours. Then came school and I am unsure what happened but we grew wider apart. You had your friends in this other city from school, and I was friends with the kids near us from a different school. I don’t know what happened. Someday we switched roles I outgrew your younger sister and in my mind, I became responsible for you. But you see it differently. It is so weird. I’m so often angry. Not even at you, but still I yell at you and don’t tell you anything anymore. But that’s because everything I’ve ever told you in secret you’ve told someone. I love you but I don’t trust you. And I’m sorry. For so much I don’t even- So much changed between us, between when we were under ten to when we are now, and I can’t pinpoint it. I can’t blame anything or anyone because I noticed it too late. And I think mow it is too late for ... Read more