"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I honestly do not even know if you will be able to understand this letter because well it’s not in Spanish. Although you are an angel and angels are gifted and well I can’t write in Spanish so that settles that . It’s going to be 5 years now that you left and to this day I can’t get the idea in my head . There were so many things I had to tell you, I have been so lost and I can’t find my way out of this darkness. I remember it was 7 in the afternoon when I got a phone call. I was at work and the guys were playing music, I answered my phone and it was my aunt she asked how I was doing and told her I was working then there was silence I asked her if she was OK and she paused “honey I just want to tell you that your dad …… your dad is OK now , your Pa is not hurting anymore he is not pain he is in heaven now”, that is exactly what aunt Agus.. said to me.That is when i realized I was ... Read more

I know it’s been a year. Since I was a little kid, my mom used to tell me a story about how she gave birth to me. She told me you were the first one to carry me before mom and dad did. She told me how much you never wanted to see me cry, so you hurried to carry me to stop from crying. I know that was a long time ago, before you moved to Indiana Polis, yet I can’t even still remember a thing, even your touch and you face. Though, I’ve seen you on my mom’s photo album, smiling and looking straight directly to the camera. But I wanted to see you in person. There were days that you called mom, over the telephone, because you missed her. You miss your lovely daughther. Everytime my mom calls my name to let me have a conversation with you, I started to feel like I don’t want to. There are days that I just ran away pretending that I didn’t hear mom. When I was 11 years old, you heard the news about my little brother, that he faint in the middle of the school hallway. ... Read more

I know this is supposed to be a letter to the dead which you are not but I have some things to get off my chest… Im scared. yeah I know me being scared? I didnt think it was possible either. But then you sped your way into my life again and it was as if the universe was slowed to a halt. I met you when I was 3. I was there when your mother died. and I was still at your side four years later. And then I got sick, and I was living in a hospital for almost two years. Then I got better. But you were gone. Then I ran into you and your brother when we were both 20 and when I saw you again after all those lonley years, something inside me broke…. and I knew I had fallen for you, and fallen hard. I remember you wrapping me in a bone crushing hug, saying that you were never gonna leave me again. and you didnt. Hell right now your down the hallway from me, blasting your music and reading. Anyways, here it is, in all its thorny beauty… I love you. And it ... Read more

Its been about a month and a half since you died. Dean isnt taking it well…No one is. But know that every moment you have been here…every laughable moment…every melting moment…every adorable moment has taken hold of everyone you left behind. Even though we lost you so many times, you always found a way back. We never thought you would go out the way you did. But still we count the days until you return, even if they never come, because we know in our hearts… You will always find a way home. We had all and then most of you, some and now none of you. Your blue eyes went white and then you were just…Gone. So please Cas, We miss you.

I know it is hard to show yourself to others, but I think it is worse if you are scared to do it. You are scared that people will judge you for being yourself. Myself, I know how that is. I always thought that being me was not enough, until I met my best friend. She taught me that being yourself is important and if they judge you, they do not deserve your friendship. I do not really talk to you during class, even though you are sitting next to me. We only talk over DM in Insta. Every Time again I try to tell you that being yourself is important. However every time you come with another excuse. Do not be mad, because you are being yourself. I have met a whole other person behind your mask and you have met me, another girl than that I show at school. Is it wrong that you can fall in love with someone you cannot see in real life.

I know this is not really the kind of letter you had to write, “Love Letters To The Dead”. You are still alive, but deep inside you feel nothing. I know you (I ... Read more

I will always remember the day I met you, the very first time I saw you. Classes had already begun and everyone was already settled dow when you came in. You were tall and handsome and something about that eyes and that smile made me fall for you. We didn’t start talking until the second bimonthly, my friends had talked to you and tried to make me talk to you too, but I was to shy to do so. When we sat next to each other, you were the one who started talking. I thought these talks wouldn’t last long, but hoped they wouldn’t and they didn’t. We talked 24/7 in the school and never outside, I was the one who started that. The day I knew you liked me back was a very happy day, Fernanda (who was my best friend at the time) and me had been “fighting” over your heart and apparently I had won (Which written this way doesn’t sound nice) because he was asked if he would rather date me than her and he said he would rather date me. One day, you asked me out on a “date”, it was only going to be the ... Read more

I love you guys so much I don’t know what i’d do without you please dont ever leave me I need you more than you know- you are what makes it ok and just about bearable. I love you guys.

I am so tired and screwed up and I just feel sick. I hate it all and I want it to stop because I am such a crappy person in a crappy life and I am so stuck and trapped and I have no motivation to try and make anything better or to get my life back on track.

It’s been years haven’t had a single conversation. Yeah it’s unexpected but it’s somewhat important for me. It will take some efforts to read all these as it’s kind of none of your business but it’s very last time whoever you have encountered with right now.

Everything has changed since then, as 3 years has been passed, thoughts, perceptions, surroundings, a new reality is here. I have been waiting to say something to you. I tried a lot but would not be able to do that and 3 years got passed during just trying all those. I had a wish to meet you once and have some conversation but I was not able to make that happen. I thought for the last day of the college(practicals) to do so but my destiny did not allow me again as I got departed from main exams. So the thing has happened which I was worried about that I am not going to see you again in my lifetime and my wish is not going to get completed.

After that, things were hard, I was not even able to face you, stopped going to college, did not wanted to annoy you anymore. Every ... Read more

I will never understand why you decided to leave me, you were and are still my bestfriend. I don’t think you realize how much I love you. You’ve been gone for 4 years and I still struggle with it everyday. I can’t call you and tell you about everything that’s been happening and I want too so bad because so much is going on. I can’t tell you about job opportunities or school, honestly I’ve forgotten what your voice sounds like and it makes me sad. I wish you could be here watching me, I miss you every day gramma. I always find myself asking why you didn’t listen to the doctors, I guess you were just tired of life I know it can be stressful and you went through a lot but I wish that you would have decided to stay for me, anyway this is goodbye for now. I love you so much grandma.