"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I don’t really know what to write to you. I was told writing would help me stop my breakdown but it doesn’t work that way, espicially with someone like you. You were specisl to me and now I’ve become an emotional wreck since you died. I’ll never get to say the things I wanted to… You’re the reason I continued singing when I doubted myself and now I’ll continue singing for you. You were such an amazinf person that didn’t deserve to die the way you did and espicially how young you were. Thank you so much for being there for me when I doubted myself.

I don’t write letters anymore. I used to, rarely, but I did it with the people I love most. They didn’t appreciated it though. But recently I wanted to say thank you. Although some days I don’t feel very grateful towards people or life in general, one of your songs “Perfect”, has literally saved my life. In recent years I’ve been through a lot, who am I kidding, I’ve been through a lot since I was a little child. Now at eighteen I can tell you that there are many times I think about suicide, a lot. I want to kill myself, just pick up a bunch of pills and the pain to disappear. The only thing that is keeping me from doing that in my darkest times is your song. I put it every time I am in that dark place and every time I cry when I hear it, and is like healing for a few moments. Your song has saved my life in a way no one else can. So just keep doing beautiful songs that inspire to live.

Love

You were shot last night and your death was confirmed early this morning. It came as such a shock to the world. I finish this book with tears in my eyes, the very day I need the letters most.

You were an inspiration to millions and I can only imagine what your friends and family are going through.

You were only a year older than me, 22 years old, perusing a music career like I am, and spreading so much good to your fans globally. You were the reason for some of my friendships made 6 years ago in my freshman year of high school. Your voice was angelic and golden.

It’s strange for me to cry over someone I’ve never met. I’ve been a mess all day and it’s confusing and awful. Maybe it’s less that we’ve lost your talent, and more because a monster took such a beautiful soul away from us. Although I am not particularly religious, I’ve found comfort that you were and put your faith in God. You were and are loved, and I can only hope that wherever you are now, you’ve found peace. May you and your family find the comfort you need, and find joy ... Read more

So I bought love letters to the dead exactly 8 days after you died. It was my coping mechanism, I’ve read it 3 times ever since. I’m starting high school soon just like Laurel. I don’t see our friends anymore. That was taken away from me. It’s been a year and a half since I saw you. I still wear my rock necklace every day in memory of you and your beautiful smile. You had a smile that could end wars and cure cancer. I have a boyfriend now, his name is Mason. I still think of you every day, and wish you were here to talk with me about the troubles of your life and mine. I want to become an author someday, the last time we talked I told you I wanted to be a judge. Maybe I’ll do both. I miss you .

I understand your pains. People always end up telling you “I understand”, when in reality they don’t. I think because maybe it might give them a sense of peace knowing that by saying it, they might actually be helping. But sometimes it’s not about understanding, it’s more about feeling. And i understand, and i know, and i feel. The drugs, the paranoia. I know, Michael. It may seem foolish at first to try and write someone who doesn’t have an address because ghosts can’t open letters. I write in my journals, mostly poems because i believe they’re a prettier way of saying you want to kill yourself. But sometimes I sit there and write you letters but I never know what to say most of the time even when i have all of the letters in the alphabet. I was five when i heard Human Nature. I thought you were singing to me when you said “See that girl, she knows i’m watching. She likes the way i stare.” I felt special, because i’ve always been so in love with you. Even now, though i know i never met you, I try to look for you in every person ... Read more

I do not exactly know if you are dead or alive. Nobody’s seen you around in a while. I miss you more than anything. Home isn’t so good right now and I can’t do anything right. I love you with all my heart and I’m sorry I wasn’t enough to make you stay. We haven’t talked in 7 years and it hurts. Grandma’s funeral, I heard you showed up. I’m sorry I didn’t stay to see you. I want to get to know the mom that didn’t have so many scars and wasn’t so unhealthy mentally and physically. I want you to know we miss you a lot . Every time something good happens I want to run to you and tell you. I’m just starting to get used to it. Well since I’m already writing to you..I want to know how you did it. Teen pregnancy and getting into drugs and alcohol and still making sure your kids had everything they needed and more. I really need some inspiration right now. My dad is doing terrible and I can’t do it. He doesn’t want to talk about you so I don’t know who you. Life for me right ... Read more

I know that I already did one of these, but it’s been one year since your death and I’m sinking into a sark hole I can’t get out of. There was a memorial service for you today, and I couldn’t feel anything. A bunch of us are going to visit you this Saturday, and I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I have a friend who’s helping me, but sometimes he just isn’t enough. I love him (as a friend) and I don’t know what to do. If you were here I know that you would give me some advice. I still remember your loud booming voice that filled up the whole room. You gave us life lessons and taught me so much, not just about World Studies. 1 year later, and I know that I will never forget you. “Promotion” for us is soon and there’s an award for you, and I so badly wish that there didn’t have to be one. I wish I could have you for US History this year, but life will always run its course. I will never forget you, I will remember your kindness and the respect you commanded when you entered a ... Read more

They say that only the good die young and in your case I could not agree more. It’s been a year and a half since your death and yet I feel your presence in my life more than ever. I see your name written throughout textbooks, I see your face plastered on the school walls, I hear your cheerful voice ringing in my ears. It’s sad, really, that it takes something as significant as death to get someone’s attention. But you have mine, and now I regret taking your time on this earth for granted. If only I had given you as much attention during your life as I have felt through your death.

I remember listening to you for the first time. My grandfather absolutely adores you and he would say you were amazing with a guitar but I never really listened to you. I was in San Francisco and I saw the apartment where you died and I immediately wanted to hear your work. I listened to “Purple Haze”, I fell into it in an instant. It’s said that people like you die, I just don’t know if you wanted to die or nit and that’s what kills me. I hope I get to ask you. Your talent is now just a memory… not something to look forwards to and that really sucks.

Two years ago, I was in tenth grade when I first read your book, “It’s Kind Of A Funny Story.” It wasn’t the cover that attracted me to it, rather it was because a lot of my classmates had their own copies under their desk chairs, so I decided to ditch my growing reading list and finally get around reading your book. It didn’t take too long for me to find myself falling head over heels with it.

Your book was the kind that would stick by me throughout the years. I didn’t love your book merely for your writing style (which was amazing, by the way, and I’m a big fan of it), or the whole plot of it. I love it because I really feel so much about it. I feel what the characters feel, especially in Craig’s part. I feel the situation they’re trapped in. I feel that I actually relate to it, because I know those feelings and those thoughts of Craig. They were all so familiar, because everyday, I know them and I keep on living and living with just knowing them as I carry out my daily routine.

After I finished reading your book, it left ... Read more